Cómo usar “elle”

Cualquier persona hispanohablante ya sabe de los pronombres “ella” y “él”. Son los que usamos a diario para referirnos a individuos en tercera persona: “ella” para una mujer  y “él” para un hombre. Pero no sólo hay mujeres y hombres en este mundo; las personas no binarias también existen y ninguna de estas opciones son género-afirmativas. 

Para personas anglohablantes, referirse a alguien de manera género-neutra sólo requiere el uso del pronombre “they” de manera singular. Pero en español “they” se traduce a “ellos” o “ellas”, opciones que no son género-neutras. Entonces, ¿qué se puede hacer para ser incluyente?

Recientemente, mucha gente ha comenzado a usar el neopronombre “elle” (con su correspondiente neopronombre de objeto directo “le”) como una posible alternativa a las opciones binarias “él” y “ella”. 

Ejemplos:

Él llegó muy tarde a casa. Su mamá lo regañó.
Ella llegó muy tarde a casa. Su mamá la regañó.
Elle llegó muy tarde a casa. Su mamá le regañó.

Pero usar “elle” requiere modificaciones adicionales, ya que, al igual que los pronombres, la mayoría de los artículos, sustantivos y adjetivos tienen género gramatical masculino o femenino. Para no malgenerizar a las personas no binarias en nuestras vidas, se necesita una terminación género-neutra para sustantivos como “amigo/amiga” o adjetivos como “bonita/bonito”. 

Anteriormente, se han usado la equis (x) y la arroba (@) para modificar palabras y crear versiones inclusivas. Sin embargo, la pronunciación se dificulta con estas dos opciones, y resulta ser un obstáculo para personas que usan lectores de pantalla. La inclusión debe también incluir a las personas con discapacidades. Por eso, en conjunto con “elle”, se ha comenzado el uso de la terminación en -e para crear artículos, sustantivos, adjetivos y pronombres género-neutros de aquellos que por naturaleza tienen género gramatical binario.

La manera de crear artículos, sustantivos, adjetivos y pronombres género-neutros es súper fácil, se toma la versión de la palabra de género femenino y:

• Si termina en -ga, se quita la -a y se agrega -ue

• Si termina en -ca, se cambia la C por Q, se quita la -a y se agrega -ue.

• Si termina en cualquier otra letra con -a, se quita la -a y se agrega -e

Ejemplos:

Él es un maestro muy sabio.
Ella es una maestra muy sabia.
Elle es une maestre muy sabie.

Nosotros estamos fastidiados con el clima.
Nosotras estamos fastidiadas con el clima.
Nosotres estamos fastidiades con el clima.

Para aquellas palabras que por naturaleza son género-ambiguas como “ustedes”, “modelo” o “cortés”, no se requiere ningún cambio. 

Ejemplos:

El estudiante es muy inteligente.
La estudiante es muy inteligente.
Le estudiante es muy inteligente.

Ustedes son amigas.
Ustedes son amigos.
Ustedes son amigues.

¡Y listes! Ya ahora sabes cómo usar “elle” y la terminación en -e para poder referirte a las personas no binarias en tu vida de manera afirmativa e incluyente.

Pero, ¡ojo! Aunque la evolución de los idiomas es algo natural – presentemente – no se reconoce oficialmente a “elle” ni a la terminación en -e. Sin embargo, su uso sigue en aumento. Y ya que no hay reglas gramaticales oficiales, habrá palabras que no se pueden fácilmente convertir en versión género-neutra (p.ej. actor/actriz) y hasta habrá personas que usen otros pronombres o terminaciones. Es buena costumbre siempre preguntar qué pronombres usa alguien si no se sabe ya.

Por último, admitimos que suena un poco raro usar “elle” y la terminación en -e al principio. Todo lo nuevo suele incomodarnos. Pero con práctica, podremos crear una cultura hispanohablante donde todas, todos y todes podamos ser incluides y afirmades.

Cómo hacer el ambiente laboral más incluyente con el intercambio de pronombres

Para las personas trans y de género no conformistas (TGNC), el lugar de empleo puede ser increíblemente desafiante. Entre los códigos de vestimenta binarista, las políticas de baño no inclusivas, la desigualdad salarial y el trato transfóbico en general, no sorprende que, según un estudio reciente, menos de un tercio de las personas TGNC se sientan cómodas en ser abiertamente trans o género no conformista en el trabajo.

Y aunque cambiar las políticas del lugar de trabajo para mejor apoyar a las personas TGNC esté fuera del control de la mayoría de sus colegas, todavía hay formas en las que tú puedes apoyar a las personas TGNC en tu vida laboral. 

La manera más simple: compartir tus pronombres personales y hacer un esfuerzo intencional para usar los pronombres personales de otras personas.

Oye, pero ¿qué son los pronombres personales? 

Usamos pronombres todos los días para referirnos a nuestra pareja, nuestras amistades, el barista de la cafetería, la guardia de cruce, etc. Son parte de nuestro lenguaje cotidiano y, en su mayor parte, ni siquiera los notamos. Pero para las personas TGNC, los pronombres personales a menudo son muy importantes.

Los pronombres personales son los pronombres que queremos que otras personas usen cuando se nos refiere. 

¿Cuáles son los pronombres personales más comunes?

Los pronombres personales pueden ser tan numerosos como el número de personas que existen en el mundo. Ya que aún no hay un estándar oficial para referirse a personas no binarias, muchas personas no binarias inventan o usan neopronombres que mejor reflejan quienes son. Incluso, hay personas que no quieren que se use pronombre en absoluto, solo sus nombres.

Sin embargo, la mayoría de las personas usan el pronombre "él" con pronombre de objeto directo “lo” o el pronombre "ella" con el pronombre de objeto directo “la”. Recientemente, también ha crecido el uso del neopronombre “elle” con el neopronombre de objeto directo “le”. Así que sería bueno aprender cómo usarlo si aún no sabes.

¿Y por qué son tan importantes los pronombres personales?

Junto con nuestros nombres, los pronombres personales que usamos son importantes porque a menudo se vinculan a nuestras identidades de género. Como personas TGNC, estas identidades son parte central de quienes somos. Cuando se usan nuestros nombres y pronombres personales correctamente, se nos comunica que nuestras identidades son válidas y afirmadas. Por otro lado, cuando se nos malgeneriza frecuentemente, se nos comunica que nuestras identidades no son importantes o son una carga para aprender, dejándonos también saber que ese espacio no es seguro para personas TGNC.

¿Qué hago si no sé los pronombres personales que alguien usa?

 ¡Pregunta! En serio, sólo pregunta. Al igual que el nombre, no se puede saber qué pronombres personales alguien usa a simple vista.

Es más fácil preguntar sobre los pronombres de otras personas si al conocer a alguien, tú compartes tu nombre junto con tus propios pronombres personales. 

Decir algo como “Me llamo Raquel y uso los pronombres ella/la. ¿Cómo te llamas y – si gustas compartir– qué pronombres usas tú?” comunica a quienes están presentes que eres consciente de que no todo mundo usa los mismos pronombres y que te comprometes a usar los pronombres personales de otras personas también.

¿Qué hago si uso los pronombres equivocados para alguien?

Todes cometemos errores, incluso las personas TGNC. Es normal que ocasionalmente nos equivoquemos con los pronombres personales de otras personas.

Lo importante es que cuando esto pasa:

1. disculparnos (o agradecerle a la persona que nos haya corregido)

2. repetir lo que se dijo, ahora con el pronombre correcto

3. continuar con la conversación

4. comprometernos mentalmente a mejorar cada vez más. 

Por último, no hacen falta las disculpas excesivas. Una simple disculpa (o un agradecimiento, ya que el feedback es regalo) basta.

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¿Cómo más puedo compartir mis pronombres personales en el trabajo?

Muchas personas comparten su pronombres de varias maneras. Algunes usan botones pinback con sus pronombres personales fijados al acollador de su identificación. Otres tienen sus pronombres personales en aretes, camisetas, u otros accesorios. Pero tal vez lo más apropiado para el ambiente laboral es compartirlos en la firma del correo electrónico.

Compartir nuestros pronombres personales en nuestra firma de correo electrónico no solo informa a las personas que reciben nuestros mensajes de los pronombres usamos, sino también crea concienciación internamente y externamente ya que ofrece la oportunidad de tener conversaciones con personas que aún no saben porque es importante compartir sus pronombres personales.

¿Eso es todo?

Obviamente no. Todas, todos, y todes estamos en proceso continuo de aprendizaje. La perfección no existe. Pero normalizar el intercambio de pronombres personales es una manera de crear una cultura laboral más incluyente y dar paso a la creación de un mundo donde todas, todos, y todes podamos compartir nuestros seres auténticos con todas las personas en nuestras vidas.

Cómo usar “they” singular en inglés

Si vives en los Estados Unidos, es probable que hayas conocido a alguien que usa los pronombres “they/them” en inglés. También es probable que hayas tenido dificultad en dominar “they/them” para referirte a una sola persona.

No te preocupes, que estamos para explicarlo.

El inglés, al igual que el español, tiene dos pronombres de tercera persona singulares reconocidos: “she” (ella) y “he” (él). 

En español, muchas veces se omite el pronombre de la oración completamente. Esto resulta muy útil para situaciones donde el género del sujeto de la oración no se sabe. 

Ejemplo: “¡Oh no! Alguien dejó su teléfono aquí. Espero que [él/ella/elle] regrese a recogerlo”

En inglés eso no se puede hacer, así que se usa el pronombre de tercera persona plural “they” (ellos/ellas/elles) para reemplazar de manera singular a “he” o “she”.

Traducción al inglés del ejemplo previo: “Oh no! Someone left their phone here. I hope they return to pick it up.”

Para personas que no hablan inglés nativamente puede resultar algo confuso. ¿Por qué estamos usando un pronombre plural como singular?

La razón es que al contrario del español, en inglés no hay pronombres de tercera persona en plural para “he” y “she” específicamente . Siempre se usa “they”

Ejemplo: “They are on a women’s basketball team. I played against them last week.”

Traducción: “Ellas están en un equipo de baloncesto para mujeres. Jugué contra ellas la semana pasada.”

Ejemplo: “My friends got married last month. They looked so happy.”

Traduccion: “Mis amigos/amigas/amigues se casaron el mes pasado. Ellos/ellas/elles se veían tan felices.”

Como puedes notar, ¡”they” no tiene género! No importa el género de quien o quienes se está hablando; “they” permanece igual.

Ya que “they” es género neutro por naturaleza y también porque se usa coloquialmente como pronombre de tercera persona singular, muchas personas no binarias usan “they” como pronombre personal de tercera persona. 

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Ejemplo:
“Let me introduce my friend Andi. They are from Detroit and they use they/them pronouns in English.”

Traducción:
“Deja te presento a mi amigue Andi. Es de Detroit y usa los pronombres they/them en inglés.”

Nota la conjugación de los verbos en la oración en inglés

“They are from Detroit”
“They use they/them pronouns”

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No se dice “they is” ni “they uses” aunque estemos hablando de una sola persona. La conjugación de “they” permanece igual si se está usando como plural o como singular.

¿Qué tal? ¿Ya liste para dominar el uso de “they/them”? Si no, no te preocupes. Sabemos que puede ser algo confuso al principio para personas cuya lengua materna no es el inglés. Eso es normal. ¡Hasta nosotres que hablamos inglés nativamente nos equivocamos! 

Sin embargo, con práctica y paciencia podrás aprender a usar “they” como pronombre singular. Y aunque no se vea como algo impactante, la verdad es que te ayudará a afirmar a todas las personas trans y no binarias en tu vida.

Trans-Affirming Best Practices FAQ

Why is this pronoun stuff becoming such a big deal? What do I do when people list multiple pronouns? I don’t understand all these new words. What if it’s just too hard for me? What's the difference between trans & nonbinary?

Visit our new FAQ page for our answers.

Autumn 2021 Updates

Praxis is… coming out!

In this last season, Praxis:

• facilitated a 2-part workshop, Exploring Power & Privilege + Creating a Culture of Feedback, with Northwest Side Housing Center

• Interrupting Microaggressions + Creating a Culture of Feedback with Grainger

• led several sessions of Trans and Gender Non-Conforming (TGNC) Affirming Best Practices with Be Yoga Andersonville, Friends of the Forest Preserves, Feeding America employees, and the Field Museum leadership

• consulted with Planned Parenthood and Embrace Sexual Wellness to evaluate their current programming

• moderated the first of a two-panel series entitled Gender Identity Allyship and Strategies in the Workplace with the American Medical Association

• facilitated a public workshop called Somebody I love is nonbinary and raised $1,097 for LiftyBoi and Han Training’s new gym (the first openly QTPOC-owned and run fitness facility in Chicago)

And... we've rebranded!

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Becoming Praxis: Our relaunch!

In partnership with Danbee Kim of Oori Studio, we've updated our logo and overall aesthetic to match our evolution.

HOW IT STARTED → HOW IT'S GOING

Image description 1: Praxis Group is written in all capital letters in the middle a dark teal triangle. The words come out the sides and the triangle doesn't completely close so that the letters can expand outward. Praxis is slightly bigger and placed above Group.

Image description 2: A dynamic triangle in various shades of teal. There are no words in the image.

This pandemic has taught us a lot of things, one being that time is fake. We can't believe it's been more than 3 years since we launched Praxis.

Since 2018, we've worked with 54 clients. Our team is bolder. All of our workshops look critically at how white supremacy has an impact on all of us and how it negatively impacts teams. Internally we are looking at how our workshops have centered whiteness and how we can create a more inclusive environment to learn and grow along with our clients. We challenge our clients and workshop participants to confront difficult conversations and think through elegant next steps (as defined by adrienne maree brown in Emergent Strategy).

We've kept the triangle in our logo but added more dimension to represent our team's growth as we prioritize our own learning and cultural humility. The triangle symbolizes community, solidarity, queerness and change. We - often led by Black trans women - have used this symbol as we’ve spent decades fighting for human rights and creating joy.

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Our equity statement

🗹 We are committed to learning and growth.
🗹 We believe in cultural humility and understand that learning is a lifelong commitment.
🗹 We recognize that anti-Black racism is pervasive in our communities.
🗹 We recognize that feedback is a gift of someone investing their time and energy in me.
🗹 We will give and receive feedback with grace, recognizing that we are socialized to get defensive and that we may need to address that inclination.
🗹 We understand that impact weighs more than intention.
🗹 We will center those who are harmed, meaning we will hold the needs of survivors/victims over the feelings of the person who caused harm.
🗹 We will continue to work to name and examine the ways in which we have power and privilege and how we can use that to truly stand in solidarity with marginalized people and communities.
🗹 We understand it is not the responsibility of marginalized people to educate us.
🗹 We commit to cultivate human potential by increasing racial equity; creating employment and business opportunities; and investing equitably in our communities.
🗹 We are centering BIPOC communities, believing BIPOC communities and affirming that BIPOC communities are valuable, the experts of their own experience and deserve lives of love and dignity.
🗹 We recognize joy as the foundation for our collective healing and liberation.
🗹 We believe in both self-care and community-care are necessary.
🗹 We reject the scarcity model and its roots in white supremacy.
🗹 We believe in abundance and our abilities to care for ourselves, our loved ones and our communities.
🗹 We believe none of us are free until all of us are free.
🗹 We are abolitionists and are actively working towards a world without police or prisons.

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Raffle

Over the summer Praxis partnered with Luxe Beauty & Body Sculpting to offer 6 full face laser hair removal sessions each to 2 BIPOC TGNC community members in the Chicagoland area. Thank you so much to Brittni Thomas for making this possible!

Luxe Beauty is Chicago's first trans-owned skin and beauty bar! It is located on the 3rd floor in the Nordstrom on Michigan Ave.

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What's next?

As we move into our next stage together, you can look forward to

• Restorative Justice circle opportunities with Tiffany

• Workshops in Spanish open to the public

• Revamped workshops with a focus on group-centered learning

• Train-the-trainer opportunities and guidance for internal workgroups to make their trainings more trans-affirming and gender inclusive

• One-on-one consultations to review and update your forms and/or paperwork

Speaking of Spanish workshops... our full website has been translated into Spanish! Thank you so much to Bonsai Bermudez of the Youth Empowerment Performance Project (YEPP)! We are constantly working to make our work more accessible.

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National Coming Out Day

On October 11, we celebrated Coming Out Day with a new post on Instagram. (The algorithm hates us, please go show us some love!)

Tiffany (she/her) said:
National Coming Out Day will always feel significant to me because there was a long period of my life when I felt I would never come out. Coming out was scary for me, but in doing so I learned to be able to embrace my full and authentic self. And that has been the greatest gift I could give to myself. Coming out blessed me with a second family and I am grateful everyday for their love and support. To my LGBTQ2IA+ family everywhere (out or not), you are worthy, you are wanted, you are loved. 

We are basking in the abundant love we have for each other. Whether you decide to be out or not doesn’t change that.

Image description: a photo of Tiffany that is photoshopped onto the background of a smart phone. Tiffany is outside smiling with her hands on her hips. She’s wearing hoop earrings and a septum piercing. The top left of the photo has Praxis’s logo and the top right has Facebook, Twitter and Instagram logos with @praxischi underneath. The top half of the background is peach and the bottom half has a red wave. Over the phone and photo of Tiffany is an alert-like white bubble that has an icon of an alarm bell and the words “National Coming Out Day” next to it. Underneath is a gold line and the words “Coming out was scary for me, but in doing so I learned to be able to embrace my full and authentic self. And that has been the greatest gift I could give to myself.” in black font.” The very bottom says “www.praxischi.com” in white capital letters.

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New clients

If you'd like to schedule a free consultation, please fill out this form.

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Referrals

If you’re looking for a referral for an alternative facilitator or training team, please check out this community-generated list. There are a lot of BIPOC offering consulting services nationwide / some of the best facilitators we know don’t have websites or meet the “criteria” that dominant and oppressive cultures value as “legitimate.” In order to assist you in searching for collaborators, we’ve opened a form to collect the information of BIPOC facilitators for you to reach out to. Praxis Group does not necessarily know or vouch for anyone on the community-generated list; we try our hardest to not participate in gatekeeping. If you are a BIPOC consultant doing work similar to Praxis Group, please fill out the form to be added to our spreadsheet.

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Want to support us?

One of the simplest ways to support us is to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Linkedin, and invite your friends to follow us, too! 

Most of our partnerships happen via word of mouth and we're really grateful for all your support.

We are also looking for new testimonials from our past clients that we can add to our website. If you’ve worked with us before and would be willing to share, please reply to this e-mail with 2-5 sentences about your experience with Praxis.

Two Evanston Wards Host Trans-Affirming Workshop

Original article by Adina Keeling, Evanston RoundTable on June 27, 2021

Nearly 23 residents attended a June 22 virtual workshop on trans-affirming practices, co-sponsored by Council Members Tom Suffredin, 6th Ward, and Cicely Fleming, 9th Ward.

The workshop covered topics including pronoun usage, intersectionality, terminology, the history and context of transphobic systems, “outing,” and coming out. Many parents and grandparents who wanted to better support their LGBTQ+ children or grandchildren attended the free workshop. 

Ms. Fleming said the workshop is part of the Ninth Ward’s Building Community summer series, which includes free yoga classes, live music, and community gatherings.

“Building community means recognizing and understanding and valuing all the diversity the community brings,” said Ms. Fleming. 

Praxis Group, an LGBTQ+ consulting practice in Chicago, facilitated the event, and Praxis Group co-founder Jes Scheinpflug led the workshop, which was only accessible to 6th and 9th Ward residents. Given the high degree of interest, Scheinpflug hopes that other Council members will bring these workshops into their wards. 

The trans-affirming workshop began with an introduction on cultural humility, and went on to explore how learning to be affirming is a lifelong commitment. Scheinpflug discussed pronouns and why pronoun introductions are important. Attendants were then sent into break-out rooms to practice introducing themselves with their pronouns, and correcting themselves after using incorrect pronouns. 

The workshop also covered intersectionality, sexual and gender discrimination, and the suicide attempt rate within the trans community, which is 41%. Trans and nonbinary youth who are respected by most people in their lives are 50% less likely to attempt suicide, according to the Trevor Project. Reflecting on this statistic, Scheinpflug said the disparity suggested the importance of support for trans and nonbinary youth. 

Participants learned the difference between an individual’s gender identity – the gender they identify with – and their sex assigned at birth. Scheinpflug also explained how these terms differ from sexual orientation, which refers to a person’s pattern of romantic or sexual attraction. In discussing terminology, Scheinpflug emphasized that being a supportive ally isn’t about memorizing words, but rather about knowing how to ask the right questions. 

In another exercise, attendants were asked to make assumptions about Scheinpflug’s gender, and whether they presented themselves with more traditionally female mannerisms, clothing choices, and behaviors, or if they presented themselves in a more masculine manner. The array of responses underscored for participants how assumptions people make on a daily basis are influenced by their own understanding of gender, which differs greatly among individuals.

The workshop concluded with questions from attendants. “Most people there had a loved one in their life who they had specific questions about,” said Scheinpflug. “We talked about trying to create the safest place possible, knowing that no one can guarantee someone else’s safety.”

Ms. Fleming said the residents she spoke with after the workshop said they benefited from it and would like a second workshop. She said she paid for the workshop out of pocket, and doesn’t know if she’ll host another workshop because of the expense. But she hopes the City staff and City Council will organize more LGBTQ+-affirming programming. 

“I hope the City of Evanston will do some more education and advocacy,” added Scheinpflug. “I don’t see a lot done for the trans community.”

Many trans people didn’t ‘become’ something else — so please avoid that word.

Original article posted in the Chicago Sun-Times Letters to the Editor on Jan 10, 2020, 3:17pm CST

We’re writing to express concern in response to Laura Washington’s column last week, “Raising sons who became daughters is a shared story for Kim Lightford, Heather Steans.”

First, the title inaccurately describes the experiences of trans people. GLAAD’s concise Media Reference Guide says “Avoid phrases like ‘sex change’ or ‘born a man’ in headlines.” Why? Because many trans people didn’t “become” something else. Just because people didn’t know we were trans doesn’t mean we weren’t always trans. Unless the person you’re referencing describes themself as “becoming,” it is harmful.

For example, we weren’t “born women” — the doctor assigned us female at birth by glancing between our legs and checking a box. This assumption isn’t based on biology, hormone measurement, or chromosomal makeup. So, using the words “born as,” “biological” or “become” is incorrect and unscientific.

There’s also no reason to use or quote a trans person’s deadname, their given name that they themselves no longer use. Laverne Cox “lambasted deadnaming” in a 2018 Washington Post article. She talks about the pain of police deadnaming and misgendering trans people even after they’re murdered. As GLAAD says, “Many people use names they have chosen for themselves, and the media does not mention their birth name when writing about them.” (e.g., Lady Gaga, Whoopi Goldberg)

Also, the article mentions one of the senator’s children being bullied at school and contemplating suicide. According to the U.S. Transgender Survey, trans people face disparate levels of poverty and discrimination. One of the toughest to swallow is that “41% percent of transgender respondents reported attempting suicide, compared to 1.6% of the general population.” This number is so high because we’re often kicked out of our homes at a young age, struggle to finish school, are discriminated against for housing, jobs, etc. The least a newspaper can do is get our name and pronouns correct.

Trans people get so little coverage and when we do, we’re misgendered and deadnamed. Ultimately, we’d love to share what outwardly looks like a happy story, but cannot because we know it will harm our community. We strongly believe you can do better.

August Stockwell, founder of Upswing Advocates
Bunny McKensie Mack, founder of Boundary Work
Jes Scheinpflug, co-founder of Praxis Group

Singular They/Them Pronouns

INTRO
@mlevine10 said it all: One of the most affirming things you can do for a trans person is to use the correct pronouns. I didn’t say ‘preferred pronoun’ because it’s not a preference, like chocolate or vanilla. When a trans person tells you what their pronoun is, there is now a correct pronoun and wrong ones. Some people are fine with more than one, others move between pronouns, which just means there are more ways for you to make someone’s day. It’s completely understandable that change takes time, your trans friends and family know that, but that is no excuse not to try. And when mistakes happen, which they will (they happen to me too!), you apologize, correct yourself and work to do better. You have to take time and practice…

YOU ALREADY USE SINGULAR THEY ALL THE TIME.
“Someone left their cell phone here.”
“Whose jacket is this? They have great style.”
“Do you know who won? I want to congratulate them.”

It absolutely takes conscious effort, but nothing else to afford trans/nonbinary/gnc people basic respect and courtesy. Change the culture and normalize sharing pronouns by adding YOUR pronouns to your email signature and social media profiles. Next time you introduce yourself, share your pronouns. It makes absolutely no difference to most people, but to the one person who wasn’t sure if they were going to have to go the whole day misgendered and unseen, it makes all the difference in the world. Try using ‘they/them/their’ for one of your child’s (human or animal) stuffed animals or toys. Correct others when they misgender someone you know (always make sure your trans friend is out and wants this), whether your friend is present or not. The emotional energy (or physical risk, etc) it takes for an ally to correct someone is so much less than the energy it takes someone who has to look people in the eye and ask for basic human decency every day… I’m pledging to do better. I hope you will, too.

ARTICLES

• 2015 Word of the Year is singular “they” (2015) by The American Dialect Society

• The Washington Post will allow singular ‘they’ (2015)

• Words We're Watching: Singular 'They' (2017) by Merriam-Webster

• The singular, gender-neutral ‘they’ added to the Associated Press Stylebook (2017)

• A brief history of singular ‘they’ (2018) by the Oxford English Dictionary blog

• It’s OK To Use “They” To Describe One Person: Here’s Why (2019) by dictionary.com
  

MORE RESOURCES
Gender-Specific and Gender-Neutral Pronouns infographic
Ask. Respect. Practice.

A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bongiovanni and Tristan Jimerson
Archie, a snarky genderqueer artist, is tired of people not understanding gender neutral pronouns. Tristan, a cisgender dude, is looking for an easy way to introduce gender neutral pronouns to his increasingly diverse workplace. The longtime best friends team up in this short and fun comic guide that explains what pronouns are, why they matter, and how to use them. They also include what to do if you make a mistake, and some tips-and-tricks for those who identify outside of the binary to keep themselves safe in this binary-centric world. A quick and easy resource for people who use they/them pronouns, and people who want to learn more!

What’s in a Pronoun?: Resources and Activities on Third-Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns assembled by Dubbs Weinblatt, Essie Shachar-Hill, and Jacob Klein
On the most basic level, using people’s correct pronouns is about respect. In the same way we ask
people’s names so we can refer to them correctly, using people’s pronouns is about honoring them as a person.

Practicewithpronouns.com
Want to see how to use ze/zir, ze/hir, ey/em, ve/ver, ne/nem, xe/xem, or they/them in a sentence?

Minus18’s pronoun practice
This site is super mobile friendly and interactive.

They Is My Pronoun (TIMP)
Lee Airton provides an interactive guide to using gender-neutral pronouns and supporting people who use them. Lee answers questions, post thoughts and share a ton of helpful resources.

#HopefulGender cards
Created by Praxis Group, these FREE cards are for folks who are tired of being misgendered by family, friends and strangers. They’re also for cis allies who want to encourage people to not assume gender.

#AlwaysAndersonville the podcast

This week, Laura and Joelle are joined by Jes Scheinpflug and Kate Harrington-Rosen, co-founders of Praxis Group. Praxis redefines group and organizational culture so that people feel empowered to bring their full selves to the table and offer support to businesses creating a more inclusive environment. They offer a sliding scale of services for nonprofits, small businesses, and individuals alike.

Key Notes:

• Jes and Kate met after they were both hired for work at a nonprofit in Chicago. Jes was working there as part of their MSW program and Kate was a supervisor. Both gained experience in a workforce development program supporting trans and gender non-conforming adults.

• Jes was Kate’s intern for a year, and while they initially thought they wanted to be a therapist when they got involved with social work, they ultimately decided they could provide the best mental health services through attacking macro-level issues; their switch from micro social work to macro social work happened about ten years ago.

• Jes and Kate had a difficult time picking the name for the business, but they settled on Praxis because a co-facilitator had recommended the term. Praxis essentially means putting theory into practice; it answers the all-important question: how do you live out your important life values through the work that you do?

• Kate is the Director of Training and Curriculum for Praxis, meaning she is responsible for any training programs that Praxis implements. As Director of Operations and Outreach, Jes has the initial conversations with clients about their needs. Learn more about the Praxis Group team here.

• Jes and Kate, on the website for Praxis, talk about cultural humility, which they offer workshops on. Click here to learn more about cultural humility.

• Jes grew up on the South side of Chicago, and after college, served in the Peace Corps in Africa for two years living in Togo with a host family. They were a girls education and empowerment extension agent, and talked with community members about why they weren’t sending their daughter to schools. They opened up the conversation about gender and equity issues in an incredibly remote village with no running water and a population of less than 1,000. After serving, Jes returned to Chicago and moved to Andersonville. They love going to Candyality (5225 N Clark) to raid the blue raspberry candy bins.

• Kate started her career in direct service with communities and is familiar with the sense of urgency and need when approaching clients. She moved to Chicago three years ago and initially lived in Logan Square, but later moved to Andersonville.

• Praxis Group starts any workshop by defining “cultural humility.” They focus on intentional listening. Learn about their workshops here.

• Kate talks about “communities of practice” and one of the long term goals of Praxis is developing a community of practice around creating inclusive and affirming work spaces. Another goal is to help develop training for young Trans and Queer people of color who will be the future trainers for the organization.

• If Jes could switch places with any business for a day, they would switch with George’s Ice Cream & Sweets (5306 N Clark) or Early to Bed (5044 N Clark) and Kate would switch with Lost Larson (5318 N Clark) because she always wanted to open a bakery.

“Cultural humility is the idea that when we are doing work around diversity or inclusion, it’s never complete, it’s always continuing. It’s realizing there is always more to learn and always more to do. ”

— Jes Scheinpflug

Why Sharing Gender Pronouns at Work Matters

by Alexis Croswell

Creating an inclusive work environment can be a complex task, but the important thing is to get started. One step organizations are taking to ensure communications are inclusive, is enabling conversations about people’s gender pronouns.

Personal gender pronouns are often referred to as ‘PGP’s; or more simply, just an individual’s gender pronouns. According to GLSEN, “There has been a shift away from the term ‘preferred gender pronoun’ or ‘PGP’ to using ‘pronoun.’ This change was made because a person’s pronouns are not just preferred; they're the pronouns that must be used.”

Gender pronouns are words that an individual would like others to use when talking to or about them. The most commonly used pronouns are “he, him, his” and “she, her, hers.” People who are transgender or gender nonconforming may choose to use pronouns that don't conform to binary male/female gender categorizations, such as "they, them, theirs." Steven Huang, Insights Strategist at Culture Amp says, “Starting the conversation at an organizational level about understanding and using people's correct gender pronouns helps ensure an inclusive culture where all voices are given equitable power.”

Why are gender pronouns important?

If a person has never had to worry about which pronoun others use for them, gender pronouns might not seem important. Huang says, “For most, their singular and visible gender identity is a privilege. Not everybody has this privilege; those that are referred to with the wrong pronoun can feel disrespected, invalidated, and alienated.” You can't always tell what someone's gender pronouns are by looking at them. Knowing and using someone's gender pronouns is a positive way to support the people you work with.

This table below provides examples of gender pronouns from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual Resource Center at UC Davis.

How do I ask someone what their gender pronoun is?

As part of an introduction or icebreaker at work, you can say “Tell us your name, your role, and if you’re comfortable, your personal gender pronoun.” You might hear gender-neutral pronouns like “they, them, theirs” - or some people prefer that you simply use their name. In a one-on-one conversation, the best way to ask is with a straightforward: “What are your gender pronouns?” or “Can you remind me of which pronouns you like for yourself?”

What happens if I use the wrong gender pronoun for someone?

If you realize it in the moment, correct yourself. Apologize and restate the correct pronoun, as in, “Sorry, I meant she.” If you realize your mistake after the fact, apologize in private and move on. In either case, don’t dwell on the mistake. As Huang says, “It is inappropriate to make the person feel awkward and responsible for comforting you.” It’s your job to remember and respect someone’s gender pronouns.

Communicating gender pronouns in company email signatures

Steven Huang
Strategist, Insights
Pronouns: he, him, his
LinkedIn

An easy way for companies to introduce gender pronouns into conversation is to add them to email signatures. This acts as a reminder internally, while also building awareness externally. Huang explains why he has added gender pronouns to his email signature, “Most people have not been questioned about their gender identity. This is such a simple way to show that I care about and respect the people who are in that minority who are questioned about their gender identity. It’s also an acknowledgement of my privilege.”

Taking inclusion one step at a time

Adding gender pronouns to your company email signatures is a great first step to building inclusivity at work. It brings awareness to something that many people might not have thought about before. The discussion around gender pronouns provides further education as to why it’s an important part of people’s identity that should be respected. Using gender pronouns in email signatures also serves as a consistent action and reminder on an internal and external level that this is important.

Article originally appeared in Culture Amp >

#HopefulGender cards first batch shipped!

Today we mailed out all 500 cards we had!

We also placed an order for two other versions:
1) A nonbinary sir/dude they/them option; it looks exactly like the first version but ma'am/lady have been replaced with sir/dude.
2) An option with sir/dude/ma'am/lady on the front and a fill in the blank pronoun option on the back.

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The requests and excitement about these was bigger than we expected. We are hopeful these will make a helpful shift for folks. As always, if you have more feedback or ideas, don't hesitate to reach out.

We will hopefully also be able to continue to cover the cost of postage, envelopes and printing with support of small donations.

Contact us you'd like to contribute. Thanks to the handful of people who've given $5! Check out more on our social media pages! We’re on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Linkedin.

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Here's what folks are saying:

• I want these cards to have a tangeable evidence that I’m not alone fighting for my pronouns. That I can have help sticking up for myself.

• I wear a lot of dresses and want to see if this helps with decreasing the amount of times I get misgendered, especially at work. I wear pins, have a note on my email signature, and try to correct people, but it’s hard and tiring.

• I am so tired of ma’am and lady. This happened to me recently at a restaurant, and it totally triggered me. It was a woman-owned place... it was really awful.

• Hey! I’d love to get more than 5 of these (thinking more like 20?) if possible. I’m misgendered all the time and it’s making it difficult for me to even leave my home lately.

• These will be great to give to the healthcare professionals I have to deal with who just can’t get my pronouns figured out.

• You can ask people to call you they, but I feel like most don't really hear you. Putting this is words for them to read and take in might make things more understandable.

• I would like these cards so I can better explain my gender identity without having to go through emotional distress and the anxiety of confronting the possibility of cisgender fragility regarding my pronouns.

• Hoping to just hand these out instead of having to pretend to be cis or feel pressure to have a gender 101 conversation with random people.

• I’m non-binary and I get so tired of reminding people to get my pronouns right. I would love to be able to give certain people this card as a reminder.

• I'm nonbinary and these could be an immense help when I'm too frazzled to explain gender to people.

• I'm nonbinary and whenever I'm at work, I get people calling me "m'am" or "you ladies" all the time and it is so discouraging. I'd love to be able to give this out or even put it in a name tag to hang to my backpack or uniform.

• I'm sick of having to justify my existence to everyone that I meet.

• Coming out every time I meet someone new is exhausting, so I often don't do it and don't correct people when they misgender me -- and then I end up feeling even worse emotionally.

• I would like to hand these cards out to my students of the trans experience and nonbinary students so they can give them to their classmates as well as teachers. I'm pushing them to learn how to be self-advocates. 

• I'm in medical school, get misgendered often, and I'm trying to educate my classmates on trans issues.

• I’m nonbinary and get tired of having the same conversation over and over again.

• I’m nonbinary and work at a drop-in center for LGBTQIA+ youth. These cards would be great for some of them as well as myself.

• I am very shy when it comes to correcting people on my pronouns, and I honestly think this will make it easier for me, alternatively just give an explanation for when I leave situations.

• I think it's really awesome what your company is doing and I am in full support. I would like these cards because I work in retail/customer service and it's gets really daunting being constantly misgendered. Even if I didn't give the cards out to every person who misgendered me (they'd go fast) but I think just having them would really help me feel more comfortable especially around new friends and co-workers. I love that I've found my identity as gender queer/enby but it gets really really hard sometimes literally just existing out in this binary world. And I know it's small but I think a few business cards would make me feel more confident walking around as the big gender queer enigma I am.

• This is amazing! As a nonbinary person, it’s exhausting to constantly correct people, especially when I have to do it so many time a day, or when I’m too anxious and tired of saying things and just give up on it. Love this! 

• It’s uncomfortable correcting people on your pronouns, especially in public. Also, I live in the South where it’s difficult to go anywhere without hearing “Sir” or “Ma’am”. These cards could help to at least start the conversation in these settings. 

• I'm non-binary and tired of explaining.

• I want these because I never have the words to correct people on my pronouns, and that's for many reasons. I don't want to 1) embarrass the other person 2) have to explain to people why They/Them works for as a singular noun 3) have to explain what non binary means 4) have to defend apart of my identity when I'm already a socially anxious person

• It's exhausting correcting ppl.

• Newly out enby ready to be visible!

• I usually felt either caught off guard or too embarassed to correct people in fear of conflict. This is a great idea that I can’t wait to try! 

• I run a Community Network for Professionals Serving LGBTQ+ Youth and want to share them at our next meeting.

• I am a trans/non binary adult who works in journalism and coffee, I interact with new people everyday and am very personable, however, correcting misgendering has become overwhelming. I believe these cards can be the solution to a ‘one and done’ deal.

• I am genderqueer, but I also have a chronic illness. Even if you matter to me, I don't have the energy to correct you ever. My energy is reserved for people who already respect me and love me.

• I’m ordering these cards for my eight-year-old child who recently came out as non-binary. Thank you for this service.

• I want these cards because I almost never know how to correct people when they say "she" or "ma'am" to me. I am not a girl. I am Non-Binary. I have bad social anxiety so these might help to encourage me to speak up about myself.

• I’d love to have these cards to help my family understand who I am, and to also help my teachers understand more.

• I am excited to use this as a way to self-advocate with a bit more ease.

• I am so frustrated with being constantly misgendered as female (I'm AFAB non-binary). These seems like an excellent way to quietly explain myself.

Praxis Group helps business professionals go beyond inclusion

by Liz Baudler, Windy City Times

An emerging Chicago consulting firm composed primarily of activists within the LGBTQ community has the goal of getting workplaces to think "beyond inclusion." It's a phrase that those who have encountered Praxis Group have wondered about, and the founders are very open to explaining the unique work they do.

"Our goal is to provide employers and organizations with the tools to move beyond the checkboxes of "diversity and inclusion" and into ongoing institutional practices that support justice and allyship," said Director of Training and Curriculum Kate Harrington-Rosen.

"For us, 'beyond inclusion' means a lot of things," said Director of Operations and Outreach Jes Scheinpflug. "I think that these buzzwords of 'diversity' and 'inclusion' are used so often that they sort of stopped having meaning. Those are values and goals, but what's underneath all that? We're doing innovative work around creating spaces that bring authentic people to the table."

Praxis Group's focus is on the LGBQTIA community, with a particular emphasis on trans and gender-nonconforming individuals, said Scheinpflug, who has found that workshops focused on trans identity are among the most needed in workplaces and businesses. An important question for Scheinpflug in anti-oppression frameworks is the idea of "who's not in the room."

"A lot of groups are guilty of being, like, 'Oh, look at how diverse it was'— racially and gender-wise and sometimes socioeconomic status-wise," Scheinpflug said. "But very rarely do I find people who are asking, 'Who wasn't there?'"

Another guiding principle for Praxis is the idea of cultural humility instead of cultural competency. "As a nonbinary queer person, I'm learning things every day," Scheinpflug explained. "I make mistakes in the language I use sometimes, and cultural humility is recognizing that and committing to constantly being open to learning more and doing better. Whereas cultural competency is, checking that box, done. The work is never done."

"I know that I've felt unsafe or unwelcome with providers or in businesses who think they are "competent" but don't do the vulnerable work of approaching me from a place of seeking to learn or understand me more deeply," said Harrington-Rosen, a queer woman who describes herself as "straight-passing", and who says servers and medical workers often assume the gender of her nonbinary partner.

"What humility would look like in those moments is people taking the time to recognize and acknowledge that they've made an assumption ( or 5 or 10 ) about me, and instead of acting on that assumption, to either wait until they learn more about me in the course of the interaction, or to ask me respectfully about how I identify," Harrington-Rosen said over email.

The members of Praxis have done work along these lines for more than 25 combined years. Scheinpflug, who has a social work background, and Harrington-Rosen were colleagues in the same non-profit and always had a strong working relationship. Praxis also includes K. Rodriguez and JT Turner, who come with their own skillsets.

"In starting to think about what it would look like to try to build a business that was actually rooted in ( social ) justice, we knew we needed to have leadership, input, and representation from folks with different identities and backgrounds from ours, in particular folks who aren't white," Harrington-Rosen said. "We are also both lucky enough to have worked and played alongside such an incredible number of brilliant queers that I think as soon as we started to conceptualize working together more formally, we were already thinking about and excited about bringing other folks in."

Praxis had run workshops prior to their official launch, and most previous business came through word of mouth. "People have reached out being, like, 'We have the knowledge, we understand the theory, we get the vocab, but we're struggling to implement it. What do we do?,' Scheinpflug said. "In going public and being an official business, our audience hasn't really changed, it's been whoever's dedicated to doing this work. Our ideal people are folks who recognize that it's an ongoing process. People want to see results right away, and cultural humility doesn't work that way, it's not like, 'Here's our start date and here's our end date and we're done.' We're really looking to work with people who recognize that and who will commit to the long haul."

"I think a fair number of folks are aware that there is a lack of cultural humility, or justice, or allyship, on their team, but not really sure what that means or how to name it," said Harrington-Rosen. "So folks will call and say, 'I'm not really sure what we need, but here's the problem,' and the problem is: our manager called a trans person by their dead name at a staff meeting, and everybody froze. Or, I heard my colleague say something racist and I didn't know what to do about it. Or, our clients have told us that our space doesn't feel welcoming to them, but we don't understand why.' And those are exactly the calls that we want to be getting, because what we hear in those moments are people being willing to be vulnerable and ask for help about something they don't know how to handle, and that vulnerability is key to being able to build the awareness and skill needed to address the issue."

Workshops are done with co-facilitators of differing identities who set group agreements upfront and can cover a variety of content. Even with request for more targeted guidance, the group likes to go over what Scheinpflug called "the 101 stuff" to make sure everyone's on the same page.

"I think people and institutions really enjoy working with us because we have a balance of information-sharing, collaboration, and accountability," Scheinpflug said. "In all of our trainings, we model how people can call out misgendering, or call out comments that are offensive, and how to bring that person into that moment, acknowledge what happened, and move past it. We have those teachable moments and we do the uncomfortable and difficult work in front of people, and they're like, oh, it can be done, it's not this elusive thing that I just read about on Facebook. "

In the spirit of being both teachers and learners, facilitators also find it helpful to share personal experiences. "When you have these personal stories and these human beings in front of you, that's different from reading about it or learning about it in higher education," Scheinpflug said. "I talk a lot about how I get called ma'am and, as a person who navigates the world with a lot of confidence and [who] knows how to advocate for myself, [there are] times where I end up in positions where I am extremely uncomfortable, sometimes unsafe, not feeling valued. It's things that are so simple, like this idea of microaggressions. Something that seems so insignificant can really shift an entire culture."

Praxis' workshops operate on sliding-scale fees, and a portion of all profits go toward people of color/trans life organizations. "Any social-justice work that doesn't explicitly recognize how oppressive capitalism is is missing the mark in a big way," said Harrington-Rosen. "We are seeking to find the balance of being paid fairly for our labor ( the labor of educating people about how to engage with us respectfully, which so often goes unpaid and unvalued ) with making our services accessible for groups who want to commit to this work. We know that small nonprofits or locally owned businesses may not have the same budget as, say, a corporate client, but it's no less crucial for them to engage in this work."

"Often, the places that don't have the budget for it are the places that need it the most," Scheinpflug added. Praxis hopes to make trainings and consultation more accessible by having larger clients sponsor services and partner with a nonprofit or small business of their choosing. More future plans for the Group include fellowships for young trans and gnc people of color to become facilitators, and collaborations with groups that share values.

The cost of ignoring or marginalizing issues of identity can be sobering. "When we talk about almost half of trans folks attempt suicide, versus one to six percent of cis folks, we look at other stats like homelessness and unemployment and lack of access or no access to healthcare and medical resources," Scheinpflug said. "People can get that, but that suicide statistic, [it's] the culmination of it."

But for a business or organization, furthering one's understanding and commitment to being "beyond inclusive" can pay dividends. "When people have these skills and create these inclusive and beyond inclusive places that are actually celebrating folks, productivity goes up for everybody, they make more money, employees stay longer, they get promoted, win win win," said Scheinpflug. "It's the right thing to do, and it's going to help you. "

Scheinpflug will co-facilitate an interactive master class from the Andersonville Chamber of Commerce, "Inclusive Hiring and Building Safe Spaces," on Thursday, June 21, 9-10 a.m, at 5153 N. Clark St. The event is free, but pre-registration is required. More information—and the ability to donate to further the Group's future goals—is at PraxisChi.com.

Original article appeared in Windy City Times >

Trans-affirming tips from a nonbinary social worker

I’m greeted with, “Good afternoon, ma’am. How can I help you?” as I walk into the office. “I’m here to see Judy,” I tell the receptionist as I question to myself exactly what about my appearance made her gender me with ma’am. “I have 3 o’clock appointment,” I continue, wondering if I should tell her I am not a ma’am and that my pronouns are they and them. I decide against it because I don’t want to give her a reason to not help me, even though her nametag says “Judy — she/her/hers.” I want to assume she’s trans-affirming, but I have been burned too many times by people who share their own pronouns, but don’t do anything when they hear someone misgender or mispronoun me.

“Fill out this paperwork,” Judy requests kindly. “Let me know if you have any questions.”

Everyone dreads the paperwork, both the clients who have to fill it out and the employees who have to enter it into the system. As a social worker, I’ve had clients wonder aloud, “Do I still use my mom as my emergency contact or should I start using my partner?” For some of us, we don’t even have the option to fill out the form with the truth.

From the honorific (Ms., Mrs., Mr., Dr.) to the inevitable sex/gender boxes, more often than not there is no choice or no space for me to answer the question honestly/accurately. I try to make excuses in my head (“Well, I bet their intake computer system doesn’t allow for write-ins” or “They probably have to ask this because funders require this specific wording.”). I’ve been on both sides of the coin. (By the way, Mx., pronounced “Mix,” is the gender-neutral honorific that I use.)

To improve the health care experience for nonbinary people, here are four things I have done as a trans-affirming member of the social work field and things I do/would appreciate as a nonbinary person:

Disclose issues as early as possible. This has always made me feel safer to enter a space rather than assuming I need to have my guard up. For example, when setting an appointment at a medical provider’s office, state: “We regret that our bathrooms are binary and gendered options because we rent and share this space. We apologize for the inconvenience and please let our staff know if you have any negative experiences in our space." You can also include information like this on your website and social media, or via an email confirmation.

Acknowledge that policies and accessibility issues are problematic. Sometimes we, as employees and service providers, don’t have the power to change paperwork, bathroom signs or computer systems, but we can verbally mention to clients that we are aware of the problem and that we are there to process any challenges they may have as a result. Sometimes we can also add descriptions on the paperwork that acknowledge the issue. For example: “Funders require you to choose between only two answers and we must mark one of the two in our computer system. We apologize for this inconvenience and are working to address the issue.” Be sure that you’re only using this language if you’re actually working to address the issue.

Host a trans 101 or trans-affirming training for your office. Ensure that all employees are on the same page. Service providers often offer opportunities for ongoing training for clinicians, case managers, etc., but don't include maintenance, receptionists and other staff who interact with clients. I facilitate trans-affirming trainings with Praxis Group, a Chicago-based consulting group that provides cultural humility trainings for teams and organizations. It has been humbling and very powerful to join teams and share best practices, legal protections and statistics — and then to witness them commit to the concrete changes they’ll make moving forward.

Talk to leadership to change policies, paperwork, bathroom signs, computer systems, etc. that are not trans-affirming. Consider bringing in a professional, like Praxis Group, to help your workplace identify areas that they can improve to become more trans-affirming.

Some folks think of "trans-affirming" as an ominous and confusing concept, when in reality, it's quite simple. Many of us operate this way 24/7 without even thinking about it! A great first step if you’re interested in this work is to join the Andersonville Chamber of Commerce for Inclusive Hiring and Building Safe Spaces on Thursday, June 21. (Full transparency: I’m on the panel.)

Next steps? Ask yourself what you can do to be more trans-affirming. Talk to your employer about what your office can do to be more trans-affirming. Add your pronouns to your e-mail signature. Reach out to Praxis Group for a workshop or consultation. This list is infinite, as are genders.

Jes Scheinpflug, LSW, is a queer & nonbinary community organizer raised and based in Chicago. They received their BSW from Illinois State University in 2010 and their MSW from Loyola University Chicago in 2017. They are a cofounder of Praxis Group. Their work focuses on anti-oppression education, cultivating trans-affirming communities and lifting up voices of people who are marginalized. 

Article originally appeared on the AIDS Foundation of Chicago blog.