Latino/a, Latin@, Latinx or Latine?

Lee en Español

Option	Pros	Cons
Latino/a	- challenges androcentrism - already in usage	- upholds the gender binary
Latin@	- challenges androcentrism - not inherently binary - already in usage	- difficult to pronounce - difficult for screen readers to read - not “proper” Spanish
Latinx	- challenges androcentrism - considered less binary than Latin@ - already in usage	- difficult to pronounce - difficult for screen readers to read - not “proper” Spanish
Latine	- challenges androcentrism - is not inherently binary - usage growing in Latin America - fewer problems for screen readers	- less common than other options in the US - not “proper” Spanish

We use the -e ending.

There is no 100% right or wrong answer.

As with any choice involving inclusivity, we must ask:

• Who are we centering in our choice?

• Who are we excluding? 

Mejores prácticas trans-afirmativas Workshop

In this workshop, we talk about challenges of making a gendered romance language work for as many people as possible and share tools to help do so. We define terms en español, provide room for people to ask honest questions, and give guidance on how to create spaces that are welcoming.

This workshop is for all the pochas, pochos, and poches, for all the no sabo kids that don’t know how to translate “misgender” because they’ve never had to. It’s for our moms who want to show their love in affirming ways, for our tíos who want to interrupt homophobia and transphobia, for the primas, primos, and primes just trying to understand us. Basically, it’s for all of us. Todos, todas y todes.

What is misgendering?

You've probably heard the term misgendering but may not know exactly what it means. Maybe someone has even accused you of doing it! While the term itself may be new, the act of misgendering has existed for a long time. Not only that, while regularly used against trans people, misgendering has also been used against cisgender people, particularly those who challenged the gender norms of their time. Think about how women have been insulted for wanting the right to vote. Or how gay, lesbian and bisexual people are treated for the simple fact of loving who they love.

In essence, misgendering is the act of using words that do not align with the gender identity of the person being referred to.
This can happen:

• accidentally such as using incorrect pronouns for someone whose pronouns you don't know

• intentionally like when referring to a trans woman as a man to insult her

But why does it matter?

Although it may seem minor to people who don’t regularly experience it, misgendering can cause stress, frustration, and feelings of invalidation. Because misgendering someone undermines their internal sense of self, it can also affect their mental health and contribute to anxiety and depression. Furthermore, persistent misgendering erodes trust and causes tension in relationships of all kinds – romantic, family, professional, etc.

When inclusive and affirming language is used with all people, we show empathy, respect, and acceptance. This allows us to create spaces and relationships where all people feel safer and more welcomed, particularly those who often feel marginalized and misunderstood.

How do I avoid misgendering someone?

Listen and ask.
Avoid making assumptions based on physical appearance. Just like you can't tell someone's name just by looking at them, physical appearance doesn't tell you what words someone uses. If you don't know which words to use, you can use gender-neutral language and/or ask respectfully. Listen carefully so you use the correct words.

Practice, practice, practice.
It is important to educate yourself about different gender identities, familiarize yourself with the different pronouns that are regularly used, including singular they, and apply what you learn in your daily life through practice. If you are multilingual, familiarize yourself with gender inclusive options in those languages as well. For Spanish speakers, check out our post on how to use the gender-neutral pronoun elle.

Correct yourself when necessary.
Making mistakes is inevitable. Perfection is not the goal since no human being is perfect. If you accidentally misgender someone, apologize sincerely and repeat the phrase with the correct word. Avoid making a big fuss or drawing unnecessary attention to the mistake, as this can make the impacted person even more uncomfortable.

Normalize the exchange of pronouns.
Lead by example and proactively share your own pronouns. Promote the exchange of pronouns in presentations and social settings to create a culture of inclusion. If you're worried about how other people will react, you can read our blog post on how to respond to pushback around pronouns.

Let us strive to honor all people for who they truly are by using the correct language for them.

Let us all embrace the power we have to foster a culture of acceptance and understanding. Together we can build a more inclusive world where we can all feel seen, heard and valued.

Reflections and Dreams of Liberation

“Our dream world doesn’t just appear. We have to imagine it first.”

— Karari Olvera

For Pride 2024, the Praxis team wanted to take time for reflection on the past and the beauty in our communities as well as imagine a liberated future. We brought together some beloved community members for a panel to dream together.

This full recording is in English with ASL interpretation and English subtitles.

We also have the full transcription in both English and Spanish.

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Panelists & Moderator Bios

Jamie Frazier (he/him) is the Executive Pastor of Lighthouse Church of Chicago UCC and Executive Director of the Lighthouse Foundation of Chicagoland--both institutions center Black LGBTQ+ liberation. A graduate of Vanderbilt University, he is a celebrated orator in venues such as the March on Springfield for Marriage Equality and the Creating Change Conference. He's also given keynotes and presentations at research institutions such as Northwestern's Alliance for Research in Chicagoland Communities, the University of Chicago, DePaul University, and Loyola University. Chicago Theological Seminary recognized him as the inaugural recipient of the Bayard Rustin Award for Outstanding Service and Commitment to the Work of Social Justice (2017). His work has been featured on CNN, The Washington Post, and several local Chicago news affiliates.

Pidgeon Pagonis, M.A. has worked for over a decade as an intersex advocate, speaker, consultant, photographer and filmmaker to shed light on the human rights violations endured by intersex people. Their goal is to help end the non-consensual irreversible medical procedures meant to discipline unruly intersex bodies. Pidgeon’s accessible advocacy helps people complicate their preconceived binary notions about “biological differences”. Their work has been essential for those who want to show up for intersex people in their lives, but aren’t sure where to start. Whether advancing the intersex cause as the co-founder of the Intersex Justice Project (IJP), co-producing viral informational videos, creating art that centers intersex voices, appearing on the cover of National Geographic “Gender Revolution” special issue or being honored as a LGBT Champion of Change in by the Obama White House, Pidgeon has staked out a place at the fore of debates on intersexuality. In 2020, IJP’s #EndIntersexSurgery campaign succeeded in getting Lurie Children’s to become the first hospital in the nation to apologize and halt surgeries. Their memoir Nobody Needs to Know was published in 2023 by Little A Press.

Tania Cordova (she/her) is the Program Director of Immigration Legal Services + Housing/Health Educator at Casa Ruby. She is a member of LGTBQ Immigrant Rights Coalition and the Translatin@ Coalition. Additionally, Tania is the Director of The LGTBQ pilot transitional housing at Casa Ruby. Tania is an advocate, community-educator and promotora for human rights, equality, liberation, and universal healthcare, and breaking the cycle of poverty, criminalization, and imprisonment in trans-LGBQ and immigrant communities. Through the TJLP and in collaboration with ACLU, The Chicago House, Greenberg Traurig Law Firm, and Brave Space Alliance, Tania is a part of current efforts in Illinois to reform name change legislation advocating for the public safety of transgender people by making the name change process accessible. In 2020 Tania created The Name Change Policy Coalition. In 2018, Tania formed SER El Cambio, a non-profit organization whose purpose is to help transgender women being released from incarceration by providing access to resources for personal and spiritual growth, transformation, and lifelong wellness. Through SER El Cambio she provides training and case management support to transgender immigrant women being detained and released from the Cibola immigrant prison in New Mexico in collaboration with the Casa Colibrí transformative justice house in Albuquerque. Her long-term vision is to operate a re-entry program and transitional living organization for trans Immigrant women seeking asylum and for trans women of color getting released from prison in the US.

Karari Olvera (she/her/ella and they/them/elle) is the non-binary trans femme first-born of Mexican immigrant parents. As a writer, activist, and public speaker, her art and work has focused on the uplifting of voices living in the intersections of gender, race, and ethnicity through storytelling and workshop facilitation. Karari currently serves as co-chair of United Latinx Pride and Central Co-Director of the National Board of the TransLatin@ Coalition. You can catch her IRL in Chicago dropping trans truth on the Hoodoisie, a live and live-streamed news show disseminating radical perspectives on culture and politics. You can also find Karari working as a certified pharmacy technician in Humboldt Park, working with many patients of marginalized experiences to ensure affirming care and access to medical coverage.

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Transcript

Karari Olvera (0:00 - 1:31)

My name is Karari Olvera. My pronouns are she/her and  they/them and I am one of the facilitators at Praxis Group. We are a Chicago-based consulting  group comprised entirely of people living at the intersections that we speak about. So we are very much dedicated to the liberation of our communities, and when we talk about power and dynamics and privilege, transphobia, homophobia - it is because we are personally impacted by these things. 

Today we are joined by three wonderful community members. I will start off by introducing them all with their bios. So today we're joined by Jamie Frazier who uses he/him pronouns and is the Executive  Pastor of Lighthouse Church of Chicago UCC and Executive Director of the Lighthouse Foundation of Chicagoland. Both institutions center Black LGBTQ+  liberation. A graduate of Vanderbilt University, he is a celebrated orator in venues such as the March on Springfield for Marriage Equality and the Creating Change Conference. He's also given keynotes and presentations at research institutions such as Northwestern's Alliance for Research in Chicagoland Communities, the University of Chicago, DePaul University, and Loyola University Chicago. Chicago Theological Seminary recognized him as the inaugural recipient of the Bayard Rustin Award for Outstanding Service and Commitment to the Work of Social Justice (2017). His work has been featured on CNN, The Washington Post, and several local Chicago news affiliates. Thank you so much, Jamie, for joining us today.

KO (1:31 - 3:01)
We are also joined by Pidgeon who is currently still off camera but will be on shortly. Pidgeon has worked for over a decade as an intersex advocate, speaker, consultant, photographer and filmmaker to shed light on the human rights violations endured by intersex people. Their goal is to help end the non-consensual irreversible medical procedures meant to discipline unruly intersex bodies. Pidgeon’s accessible advocacy helps people complicate their preconceived binary notions of “biological differences''. Their work has been essential for those who want to show up for intersex people in their lives, but aren’t sure where to start. Whether advancing the intersex cause as the co-founder of the Intersex Justice Project (IJP), co-producing viral informational videos, creating art that centers intersex voices, appearing on the cover of National Geographic “Gender Revolution'' special issue or being honored as a LGBT Champion of Change in by the Obama White House, Pidgeon has staked out a place at the fore of debates on intersexuality. In 2020, IJP’s #EndIntersexSurgery campaign succeeded in getting Lurie Children’s Hospital to become the first hospital in the nation to apologize and halt surgeries. Their memoir Nobody Needs to Know was published in 2023 by Little A Press. Currently they're working on getting their new feature length documentary about intersex healing funded. Thank you so much, Pidgeon, for joining us today.

KO (3:02 - 4:46)
And last but not least, my good friend Tania Cordova, who uses she/her pronouns and she is the Program Director of Immigration Legal Services + Housing/Health Education at Casa Ruby. She is a member of LGTBQ Immigrant Rights Coalition and the Translatina Coalition. Additionally, Tania is the Director of The LGTBQ pilot transitional housing at Casa Ruby. Tania is an advocate, community-educator and promotora for human rights, equality, liberation, and universal healthcare, and breaking the cycle of poverty, criminalization, and imprisonment in trans-LGBQ and immigrant communities.Through the TJLP and in collaboration with ACLU, The Chicago House, Greenberg Traurig Law Firm, and Brave Space Alliance, Tania is a part of current efforts in Illinois to reform name change legislation advocating for the public safety of transgender people by making the name change process accessible. In 2020 Tania created The Name Change Policy Coalition. In 2018, Tania formed SER El Cambio, a non-profit organization whose purpose is to help transgender women being released from incarceration by providing access to resources for personal and spiritual growth, transformation, and lifelong wellness. Through SER El Cambio she provides training and case management support to transgender immigrant women being detained and released from the Cibola immigrant prison in New Mexico in collaboration with the Casa Colibrí transformative justice house in Albuquerque. Her long-term vision is to operate a re-entry program and transitional living organization for trans Immigrant women seeking asylum and for trans women of color getting released from prison in the US. Thank you so much, Tania, for joining us.

KO (4:47 - 5:43)
And obviously y’all can see these are 3 amazing people doing amazing work for our community and we are truly truly honored that you all have joined us today, during Pride, the last week of Pride. Let's get started! Now, we talk a lot about what is wrong with the world, and when we were creating this idea for this panel, we really were trying to think of like - we always talk about what's wrong with the world, or what we have to fix, but we thought like - what about if we focus on dreaming? What if we focus on the good things? What if we focus on - what is the image we have? Because we can’t actually have a world until we imagine it. And so, to start it off, describe your dream world. What does it look like both globally, locally, but also how does it exist? How does it manifest in your everyday life? Jamie, would you like to start us off?

Jamie Frazier (5:44 - 7:43)
Yeah, thank you so much, Karari, and I also want to thank Jes and Tiffany, the whole Praxis team for having me. I feel very honored to be a part of this panel today. I got a piece of my vision of what a real world could look like at a recent Lighthouse Foundation Black Queer Beach Day… Where we basically did a 63rd street takeover. You had 4 to 500 Black queer bodies on the beach in peace and unity and interdependence among our Black kin, of various sexual orientations and gender identities…and I think that's a snapshot of the better world that I see - where Black, queer, and trans bodies are welcomed, accepted, and affirmed within the wider Black community. And I think even when you take a step back, the world that I see looks like interdependence across lines - not just sexual orientation and gender identity but also race. I think back years ago to when I was working with United Latino Pride, and we were doing United Latino Pride every year, it was powerful to see Black and Brown queer folks working together for our mutual liberation and shared struggle. So what I'm dreaming of are the days in which queer people can exist together and also alongside other folks of our racial and ethnic identity. So I'm not looking for any gay or queer ghettos, I’m looking for our liberation in spaces that are at times for us and by us, but also are spaces in which we coexist with other folk. And we’re able to do so from a place of peace, power, wholeness and liberation.

KO (7:44 - 8:22)
Thank you, I think that the whole idea of interdependence across lines, like I wrote it down and I knew like ‘yes!’ I think when we talk - when we did ULP, United Latino Pride, I was one of the organizers many years ago and the intention was - right - that feel like they're ours but also they feel like anyone can be a part of it - everyone feels welcome. I was honored to have you always come in and support us and of course we love to support y’all. Tania, would you like to add anything else? What do you imagine your dream world looks like?

Tania Cordova (8:23 - 9:57)
Well, first of all, yanno, hi everyone. Thank you all for inviting me to be a panelist, it’s an honor. My dream world has to be a place where everybody has to feel safe and respected. But also a world with no borders, and ugh, yanno, in the world, all human life should be respected. And we all should have the right to live where and how we choose to live, not how the world is right now. So I think that’s my dream, to be respected, not just as a trans immigrant, you know, trans Latina indigenous woman… an immigrant. I think that after 35 years in the United States, I have…It has been a struggle for trans immigrant women, and especially when it comes to - even with all the immigration laws, and I really think we should have the right to live everywhere, and to build a house everywhere that we want to live.And we should not go through all these processes to even have to buy a house. So that’s how I see my dream.

KO (9:58 - 11:05)
And I think you bring up a point… We were talking earlier for anybody who wasn't on during the panel talk - Tania purchased a house - and the idea of having a purchase a house, you know, on this Earth that doesn't belong to anyone, it seems almost absurd that we have to go through all these loopholes just for us to be able to take a piece, you know, of this free Earth, be able to call our home, it seems absurd to think about it but yet we normalize it to the point that it's just this normal thing that we have to have a lot of money to buy land that is just readily available like because the Earth is the way it is. And so I think, yeah, like the idea of open borders is a challenging image for a lot of people. The idea that there should be no borders. That we should be able to move across this Earth as freely as we are because we’re human. I think that’s a beautiful dream, and I really hope we get there. Right? Where we all can just exist and move about as needed.

TC (11:06 - 11:48)
Yeah, and I’m just gonna add something, especially, you know, when it comes to immigration. I’m a huge advocate for people with Withholding of Removal. And – ‘cause I’m one of the persons who has Witholding of Removal. Now, I’m in United States but United States can’t remove me out of this country. So, that means I’m in United States but I’m in a cage. I cannot move out of the United States. So I really would like to have the dream with everybody can actually be free to fly, to go anywhere that, yanno, everywhere that they want to without borders and all those immigration restrictions.

KO (11:49 - 12:00)
Thank you, Tania. Pidge, would you like to share your personal vision of what your dream world looks like - globally, locally?

Pidgeon Pagonis (12:01 - 13:46) 
Yeah, thank you to everyone. Thank you, Praxis.Thank you everyone. Thank you to Jamie and Tania before me. You guys, wow, yeah, really thank you, Karari, for saying the Earth is this resource that’s supposed to be for us. My dream world is, of course, a place where intersex people are free to be intersex, where trans people are free to just be, Black and Brown people are free to exist, disabled folks have access to what they need. That goes without being said for me. And Palestine is free. Congo is free. Sudan is free. Everywhere is free! Okay? Let’s just say that. But I wanted to focus on something that I’ve been thinking about a lot more lately, which is about land, and growing food, and gardening. So my dream world is about New York City, and it was like you know, I got off the train, which is great, I'm glad there's a train, but I’m like ‘it could be so much more beautiful!!’ But it’s just like I come up and there's no greenery, and it's just like the smog from the cars is on everything, and I'm like ‘these buildings could be covered in trees and we could be harnessing the sun's power and like not using fossil fuels’ and so that's what I want to talk about. So my dream is - and I'm going to read:

PP (13:47 - 16:08)
In my dream world, everything is designed with permaculture, emergent strategy, and bio-mimicry at its core. Globally it looks like a network of thriving, self-sustaining ecosystems where communities work in harmony with nature. Imagine cities that mimic the efficiency of termite mounds for cooling and heating like they did with the Eastgate Centre in Zimbabwe. Agricultural practices that draw from indigenous wisdom to regenerate the soil and energy systems inspired by sunflowers tracking of the Sun. Locally, neighborhoods would be lush with community gardens, green roofs and urban forests all designed to support biodiversity and local food production. People would use small incremental changes to continuously adapt and improve their environments, drawing from the principles of emergent strategy. Decisions would be made collaboratively embracing the wisdom of the people and the resilience of decentralized systems. In my day-to-day life, I'd be part of a vibrant community where we grow our own food, harvest rainwater and generate energy sustainably. Our homes would be using materials and designs inspired by nature, ensuring they are efficient and harmonious with the environment. We prioritize small acts of care and connection, knowing that every action, no matter how small, contributes to the larger system. By integrating the principles of permaculture, emergent strategy and biomimicry, we create a world that's not only sustainable but also deeply connected, resilient, and full of life. This dream world is a place where humans and nature coexist and thrive together - consciously learning and evolving in response to each others’ needs. So that's what I wanted to say about my dream world. I think that would be the foundation and then I would add things on top of it, but I think those things would actually come a lot easier if we all had food, shelter, safety AND community and connection.

KO (16:09 - 17:51)
That’s like definitely, like, I closed my eyes and I’m kinda imagining it as you were talking and it would be so beautiful! Chicago’s a beautiful city and if there was more greenery, it would be a much more beautiful city. Like truly. There’s just some places - there’s not enough greenery. And there's also this notion that somehow we have to control nature, right? And a lot it comes from this idea that if you can control nature then you can control people, right? All those things just kind of compound on it and if you let nature exist and in unison, then I think it becomes easier to understand how people can exist in unison. If you can have a conversation with nature and yet still exist in unison, then you can probably have a conversation with people and exist in unison. Much easier than it is with nature. And so like, how do we get there? Why is it so difficult sometimes for us to even dream of these possibilities? Because when I was drafting these questions, I was trying to answer them myself, right? And I was struggling a little bit. I knew the talking points. We know the talking points: no racism, no this, no that - and it’s a very ‘no’ based idea of what the dream world is - it’s just ‘no, no, no, no, no’ - but where are the ‘yeses?’ What does it actually look like? And it felt very difficult for me to even start getting past the ‘no’s’ and starting the ‘yes.’ And so why do y’all think it is such a difficult thing for many of us to imagine better worlds?

JF (17:52 - 20:55)
I would really like to thank Pidgeon for writing and sharing that… I’m like ‘when are you writing the book and recording it so I can listen to it on Audible at night to reawaken some new possibilities after I watch MSNBC all day?’ And I think in your articulation you gave the first step to co-creating this world which is to commit it to paper. I think there's something powerful about writing the vision of the world that we want to see and being able to expand to that document as you continue to live, grow, thrive. I also think that when we talk about co-creating a new world, often the reason we start with ‘not this, not that, not that’ is because when you’re on the margins you’re quite clear about what you don’t want, and what you don’t want to face but it becomes a little bit more difficult to think about: ‘Where are the seeds of newness being planted right now?’ Not just this huge ‘pie in the sky’ vision, but where are these things unfolding right now and how do we tap into things in their nascent stage? How do we feed those things? Also how do we connect those things? Chicago is an exciting city and there’s revitalization efforts happening in Englewood and in Humboldt Park and in Pilsen. How do you connect these silos of revitalization into an ecosystem? How do we learn what folks are doing in different parts of the city as well as different parts of the globe? It’s about, I think, writing down the vision, it’s about looking for the seeds, the infancy of revolution of newness in other spaces. Thirdly, it's about connecting transformation as it's happening across the city, across the state, the nation, the globe. And the last thing that I wanted to say is as someone who is very committed to therapy, one thing that my therapist often will ask is ‘the magic question’ - what would your life be like without limitations? Imagine for an example you didn't have any of the stressors that are confronting you right now: How would you live? How would you love? How would you exist? And that is the question that I think we need to ask ourselves as queer people of color every morning that we wake up… so that it gives us the ability to not merely be confined to the way life is, but to the way we want to co-create the world to be. What does a life without limits look like - and write that s*** down. And find other people who share that vision… And connect those visions. Because it's that web of mutuality, that web of revolution, that has the opportunity to really remake the world into the way we want it to be.

KO (20:56 - 21:16)
I am literally writing this s*** down. I was like ‘oooh, commit to paper, write that s*** down’ - now it’s going to be on my wall now, Jamie, thank you, thank you for that. What about y’all? What makes it so difficult for us to dream?

TC (21:17 - 24:51)
Well, I actually had the opportunity to meet Pidgeon 6 years ago when I was doing work for TJLP [Transformative Justice Law Project]. Yeah, you know, I think right now, just lead by example. And I think, yes, go with the flow and I believe in fulfilling my destiny. I’m a farmer you know? I grew up on a farm, I was raised on a farm - and for many years I was disconnected because, you know, I had been living in a city. But now that I went to buy my house and I’m farming and I’m planting and I have my seeds, my tomatoes, my chiles, and all this stuff, you know? And also right here in Baltimore there’s other non profits organizations that do farming and they're actually educating citizens who live in the city to actually farm. We cannot live without food and food comes from the ground. We are not going to be just surviving in fields and water that is toxic. So when we actually reconnect with nature - respect nature - and respect our Mother Earth, then we are going to create this magical world that we need to preserve, right? So I have to be very grateful. I’m right here right by the ocean, the rivers, and it’s green. In December I was actually thinking to move back to Chicago and then when I went to Chicago and I was going through the whole process of meeting with a realtor and then I was like ‘Am I going to go back to the city?’ ‘Am I really wanting to live in the city?” and then all of a sudden destiny shift me to a different way and I ended up being in this area, in Baltimore, which is very green. So you know, for me, being in the mountains and the river and being able to be connected with farmers… that they have to be sustainable by people who actually donate their time to go and farm and harvest. But people in the city - we don't want to do that - we don’t want to farm. We don’t want to dirty our hands. We don’t want to do anything. We want someone to actually go and do the work and bring those vegetables to our table, those food to our table. But we don’t want to contribute, right? So yeah, I think that even in Chicago and some cities - people from other countries like Asian people, they’re trying to have a plot, to have a little piece of land. And they grow beans and cucumbers. So what is wrong with humankind that we don’t want to farm? Or we don’t want to plant those seeds? So we just want to go and harvest and we want to eat, but don’t want to plant the seeds.

KO (24:52 - 25:50)
I think it’s almost a metaphor, Tania, right? This idea... Our resistance to cultivating our own food and cultivating the Earth is very much our resistance to cultivating change. Like we love… I’m sure there’s many of us in the community once ‘gay marriage’ was legal they planned their wedding and they went out. But they weren’t there to fight for it. I think so many of us have this same resistance. We don’t want to cultivate change because it’s hard. You have to get dirty. You have to stick your hands into the Earth and sometimes you fail and sometimes you succeed. And I think it is this resistance that we have in many, many ways. And that resistance is keeping us from even dreaming because if you don’t even start, or like Jamie said, right, if you don't commit to actually writing it down, commit to actually doing it you can’t actually get anywhere.

PP (25:51 - 27:54)
Thank you. My answer is that I think it’s really hard by design. I think going off of what Tania said, I think for me personally I had resistance to it and I I hated it until I actually started doing it so I think a lot of us don't even know how good it feels to be in the dirt - and to use that metaphor - to be in community fighting for change with each other because a lot of us by design have not had access to growing our own food, or literally nurturing or growing our own communities - So I think it's hard by design and I think part of growing up in our society is the process of ‘getting the child beat out of us’ and the child is who has the imagination so that our imagination is also ‘beat out of us.’ I think imagination is a key and central part of anyone's art making process - and art is a threat to the state. The state and the status quo that props it up relies on the smothering of our inner children and our imagination - without a flourishing [video lags] of many people’s… without many people’s imagination within a society [video lags] Ideas that are firmly rooted in our imagination. So I think our schools and the jobs that usually come after, they require us to replace our imagination and our childlike sense of wonder because those are exactly the tools that artists and other people use to challenge the state and the status quo.

KO (27:55 - 29:01)
So I think that's one reason why it's so hard for us to dream of other possibilities. Thank you so much. I really wrote that down. Because one of my questions is like ‘what recalibrates us?’ Like y’all have been doing this work; y’all have been tireless in for advocacy for the many communities that you represent, but also the communities that you don’t represent - because a lot of work, as Jamie has said earlier, right, about fostering interdependence across lines - And so my question to y’all is like - what grounds your work? What has centered your work? To keep the land metaphor: What grounds your work? What recenters it? But also adding this component that Pidgeon introduced: What brings you back to your child, your creative, to that childlike wonder? The cultivation. How do you get there again? Whoever wants to start first - How do you recalibrate? How do you recenter when sometimes the world just knocks us down.

TC (29:02 - 31:25)
I can go first. I work all the time… I have to be grounded. Work, life can knock me down, but I cannot stay on the floor and I cannot wait for somebody to actually come and pick me up. And then you know, I can self care, I’ve been practicing self care when it’s time for me to say, ‘you know what? This is about Tania’ and reconnecting with my inner child and my inner self. As Karari knows and many people actually know - I’m a practitioner of the Yoruba culture, which they call santería. Being spiritual has helped me to actually get re-grounded and recalibrated. It hasn’t been easy to be honest, especially for the work that we do. Especially with direct services. When you do direct services and you see the struggle of different communities and different families, and the LGBTQ family which is our family, we need to be there to support them… But we also have to understand that we should all come together, ‘cause what I have seen in the LGBTQ community - just like “L'' goes this direction, “B” goes this direction - and we're not really together and we are not showing the support and the love with that… that we all deserve. If we don’t actually come together as an LGBTQ community and family, we’re not going to be able to be sustainable, right? We’re going to… ‘Tania now doesn’t want to talk to nobody. Tania’s going to do what Tania wants to do and she don’t want to respect the other person or love the other person.’ So then that’s family separation. So in order for me to recalibrate and to be grounded I have to feel the love and the support as an LGBTQ family.

KO (31:25 - 31:35)
Thank you.

JF (31:36 - 34:30)
Karari, you asked such an interesting question - How do we remain grounded, and in many respects, I think the question that I find myself asking is: ‘How do I remain lifted?’ Like I feel like forces of oppression are constantly grounding me and keeping my feet tethered to the Earth and so when it's time for me to actively dream, my question is ‘How am I lifted?’ And I think there are a lot of ways that that happens: I'm lifted through unabashed joy. You know, I'm lifted through a good blunt at the end of the day. I’m lifted through afrocentrism and afrofuturism. Like, I think of the book Octavia's Brood: Science Fiction Stories from Social Justice Movements - and one of the writers says this: Because all organizing is science fiction, we are dreaming new worlds, every time we think about the changes we want to make in the world.’ One of the ways I remain lifted and high is by dreaming and creating something new… and one of the things I love about the organization where I serve, Lighthouse Foundation, is that we're constantly dreaming of new ways of being, of living, of loving. We're looking at events like the Black LGBTQ+ prom, which is all about reclaiming prom, being able to wear the clothes that you want to wear and go with the person or people that you want to go with. I think about Black Queer Beach Day - taking up space on the southside among our wider Black kin. I think about our Workforce Development Conference where we ask the question in a workshop: “What do you need to learn about business?” And the title of the workshop answers it: “Everything I Needed to Learn about Business I Learned from Drag.” We have to find new and creative ways to lift ourselves from the complacency and also from the averageness that the world will try to call us to. It takes a little extra to be queer. It takes a little extra to be free. It takes a little extra to be lifted. And that's what I need from community. That's what I need from programming. That's what I need also from community-led participatory research. Asking those on the margins to create solutions that of course will work for us but also will work for everyone. Like, these are the ways that I keep dreaming and remain lifted and keep my feet off the ground when I live in a world that is constantly trying to put my feet in the muck and mire because a sedentary person has trouble dreaming.

KO (34:31 - 35:02)
Okay! Thank you Jamie for taking us to church on this fine day. That definitely like… that’s making me think. Like, I’m gonna change the idea of like why do I need to be grounded? You’re right! Like why do we have to be tethered? I should be lifted. I’m gonna start definitely thinking in terms of that, Jamie, thank you so much for all of that. Pidge, anything you'd like to share? What centers you? What brings you back to that child? What elevates you?

PP (35:03 - 35:05)
Jamie, I heard you were called a pastor, right? Are you a pastor?

JF (35:06-35:09)
I am, I am! I'm a pastor and an executive director.

PP (35:10 - 37:41)
Alright, please drop the location for the church in the chat - because I wanna go to your church! So my answer to that question: What has centered my community work and how do I recenter when the world knocks me off my feet? I got in to the community work by just being intersex and having the experience of what happens to a person whose body dares to imagine what a body can be outside of the binary, and how the world - or the society, the status quo that we have right now in this country - how it reacted to my body by trying to destroy those most intimate parts of my body to keep the binary intact, to squash that imagination of something else. So I started speaking out. I started sharing my story with this youth-like belief - which is a beautiful belief - that if I just share my story then the surgeries against intersex people would surely end and everything would be good because everyone would hear how bad it is. Um, and that didn't happen. So I had to keep sharing my story, and sharing my story, and sharing my story, and I used to sign off my YouTube videos with the saying that says “Intersex Stories Not Surgeries” and I have been thinking about that [video lags] in the past 15 plus years, what sharing my story has actually done - It has taken a huge toll on me mentally and physically, emotionally, etcetera, and I look back and I'm kind of sad that I ushered in a generation of people in a way where I was trying to encourage them to share their stories because I wasn't aware yet of how draining it can be to be in story-based activism sharing your story, your trauma, over and over and over again. This is why, recently, I kind of wanted to quit activism and the whole intersex thing for a while. I was burnt out. But I realized that I just want to approach it differently moving forward. And the way that I want to approach it differently is to center healing in everything that I do moving forward. So, for instance, one of the ways I’m doing that is I’m working on a new documentary that is all about intersex and healing.

PP (37:42 - 41:31)
And as you said in my bio, I’m trying to get that funded. So if anybody wants to help fund that documentary, please let me know. The link is in my Instagram bio or hit me up. But this documentary is going to be different than any other intersex documentary or piece that’s ever been put out because I will not be asking anybody in the film about their surgeries, their trauma, their pain, at all. In fact, if they speak about it on their own - which I had happen recently - I’ll probably just mute that part out. For too long, intersex people have felt they have to spill their blood, their pain, to be worth being in front of someone and telling their story. Myself included. And so I want to ask different questions in this documentary. I want to ask about ‘How are you finding joy? How are you able to still laugh? And how are you attempting to heal?’ And this is all because [video lags] I want to know how to do it myself - so I’m going to go on a journey doing it [video lags]. And so how do I recenter? Like I said, I wanted to drop out of this work, and I was burnt out, especially when I was writing my book… alone. That was really, really hard. But one of the biggest places for me to recenter right now is my garden, which is why I was talking about permaculture earlier. I’m born and raised in Chicago - know nothing about farms, Tania, like you, and I just started gardening this year - and I was picking weeds and bending over and I was sweating and I hated it! I was like, my back hurt, everything hurt, I hated it. I was like ‘Everyone wants to garden until they garden.’ That’s like what I was saying to myself.And then slowly I started to actually love it and miss it when I wasn’t home picking weeds or gardening and  growing food and learning about these things. So one of the biggest places for me to recenter now is with my hands in the Earth, with plants. The lake in Chicago is one of my favorite places... I love water as a healing place for me. I I love healing modalities like sound healing, meditations, reiki, acupuncture. All of those things.I love trying all those things. Like Jamie, I love a good drug, you know? Weed doesn’t work well for me, sadly, anymore. But I have gotten into different drugs like psychedelics, MDMA, and ketamine has been very helpful for on my healing journey. By the way, a lot of insurance covers ketamine. Mine did. And it was great. I went to Rush in Chicago for that. And I love dancing, and just movement with good music. And being in community. I’ve seen a lot of talk about self care lately, and Audre Lorde’s quotes around self-care. And how she talked about it - self care - as a revolutionary act so you can still show up for community. And also doing work within the community is self care because it revitalizes us, it refuels us. So being in community is also really healing for me as well. And I forgot to say earlier, a lot of things I was talking about in my dream world were inspired by people like adrienne maree brown who I know was also part of Octavia’s Brood - the writing of that book. So her concepts - well, not just her concepts, because she gathered them from other people as she notes, but the biomimicry I spoke about, the permaculture, and other things I spoke about were from other people. I was not coming up with those things. I forgot to mention the name of the book that I’m really inspired by lately which is Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown.

KO (41:32 - 42:14)
Yeah, we always in our our workshops at Praxis, we always start off with #CiteBlackWomen so definitely, so much of the work in just dreaming this world is often based on the work of Black women and definitely mentioning it is important. You mentioned your book, Pidge, and so my question, because you said sharing your story just became exhausting. So then what is the role of the artist in creating this new world? If we want to also not drain the artist of their blood entirely as you said in your metaphor of draining and bleeding. Then what is the role of the artist in shaping new worlds?

PP (42:15 - 44:16)
I think artists - any type - I think dancers, I think musicians, I think they have a direct connection - or they’re tapped into other things that's always present, but some of us have lost touch with. Me myself, I'm trying to get more tapped in to it cuz I look at artists around me and I'm like ‘god damn I wish I had that communication with whatever you call it’ - something spiritual, some thing, source, god, something… there is this direct communication. And I think the role of the artist - I mean I don't think they have to do anything that they don't want to do - but I think it would be nice - the role of the artist could be helping people find their inner children and their imaginations…Because I think this is a powerful tool against the status quo that thrives upon the suppression of these things that I talked about earlier. I think artists have power… Oh! And this is again from social media, I found this on social media thanks to Monica Trinidad sharing this recently - who is a local artist and cultural worker in Chicago - That the ruling class understands the artists have power and there is a person named Alex Arrelia - they said on social media that ‘they cut funding for the arts so that you could never imagine a way out of capitalism.’ And so I think the role of the artist is to always inspire us, to push us to help us remember our children and our imaginations because that is how we help others imagine our way out of the status quo - which is what I was - a word I was using for things like capitalism, racism, sexism, transphobia, etcetera. I think that’s the role of the artist… is to help us all remember who we are… like to help us get us back to our Peter Pan, to remember who we were as children.

KO (44:17 - 44:22)
Thank you. And the name of your book so anybody who wants to Google it…?

PP (44:23 - 44:35)
The name of my book is funny because it’s called Nobody Needs to Know. And it’s by me, Pidgeon Pagonis. And it’s about my story growing up intersex. It’s a memoir.

KO (44:36 - 45:25) 
Thank you Pidgeon for sharing. And thank you so much for sharing your story. Because honestly I remember, like, yeah, I’m an elder millennial so I was chronically online on like YouTube and all those things and I remember running across your videos and just - for a while you were really everywhere sharing your story to whoever would listen. It was - I think it helped people understand things that we didn’t always know and so I thank you for that work and I thank you for everything you’ve done and continue to do. Because we still see your videos on Instagram and I still I always make sure to watch everything you post because I do - I learn as somebody who is not intersex, as a trans person, you know, our struggles are tied to each other but also are very, very different and need to be acknowledged as such, so thank you for that work.

KO (45:26 - 45:47)
Jamie, since you’ve been taking us to church all day. I’m gonna come to you since are a pastor. You are a pastor of Lighthouse Church and you’re executive director of the Lighthouse Foundation, and so how does your faith inform your advocacy and your work to create this ideal world.

JF (45:48 - 49:24)
Let me first say that I recognize Christianity and the church and scripture have been weaponized in some really heinous ways against Black bodies, Brown bodies, birthing bodies, trans bodies, queer bodies - and so I begin with that first - acknowledgement. The second thing I will say is: I really have been able to embrace Christianity even more - as I, too, am an elder millennial - because of the core concepts that ground me in my faith. I think one of those core concepts is the transness of god. Yanno, I have a trinitarian understanding of god, you know, god and as creator, god as sustainer, and also god as savior. And so when I look at god I see a god - when we talk about the holy spirit in Hebrew, ‘ruach’ (ר֫וּחַ) is feminine. And so when we think of the holy spirit, I think of a Black grandma, you know - when I think of God as savior I see Jesus as a man. When I think of god and as creator I think of God as father, God as mother and also god as divine other that exists outside of the binary. One of the ways that we might think of transness is when one’s identification does not match other people’s observation or other people's description and I think that's very true of God. I think often we think of God as this white man in the sky, but when we think of god as spirit, as woman - When we think of god as divine other, divine parent existing outside of the binary, it opens up a lot of possibilities. And one of the reasons I talk often about the transness of god is because often the people who are killing trans bodies are those that are operating from a very limited myopic death-dealing view of God. And when we can see the transness of God, we can also see the God in trans people Another thing I'll say that grounds me in my Christian faith is that I'm a part of a community that is unabashedly Black, queer, and we have a hell of a lot of accomplices - other queer people of color that have found spiritual community there, white folks that have found spiritual community there because, s***, they tired of their white supremacy and so they want to come be free. It has been beautiful to be challenged by community because often in the trappings of church there is authority that's given to the pastor by virtue of their position. I can assure you that that is not the case at Lighthouse Church - that authority is derived not by position but by relationship, by trust, by relational investment, and that is a constant check on my own ego. I don't get any credibility by the title that I wear or the degree that I hold or the credential that I possess, I gain credibility and authority from my community to the extent that they trust in me and to the extent that I serve them well - And that is a mentality that I think would serve us well in the world at large - giving us a place of humility.

JF (49:25 - 50:43
And the last thing that I would say about my community that grounds me is we're constantly thinking about ‘how do we show up and serve outside of the 4 walls of the church?’ Too often in Christianity I think the message is ‘lets get people into a building’ rather than ‘let's get out of the building and love creation, be in solidarity with those who are oppressed, seek liberation, clothe folk, feed folk.’ And so that’s why all of Lighthouse Foundation's events that we do in the public are free. Even our annual fundraising Ungala, everyone can get one free ticket to that. [video lags] We can live out our faith in the public square through the work of the foundation without even talking about Jesus, but instead trying to live out Jesus tenets of generosity and kindness and f****** up the power structure - those are all kind of principles that I take with me. So it's not just that I believe in Jesus, but there is a particular expression of Christianity that I have found at Lighthouse Church UCC that is Black, that is queer, that is liberatory that resonates with me.

KO (50:44 - 51:18)
Thank you so much Jamie. And also I want to give a shout out to Nestor who's been interpreting this entire time. Thank you, Nestor, so much. Also if you have any questions for our panelists, please submit. I do have one final question for Tania, just as like a balance, right because you also are informed by your faith, right, by your spirituality, Tania, so how does your spiritual connection to the traditions that you have and you hold and you practice, how does that inform your work also?

TC (51:19 - 54:36)
You know, I was raised Catholic. I’m Christian. I believe in Jesus Christ. I’m a believer. I believe in God - and the God that I know is not a white man, you know, like Jamie was saying. For me, is the spirit that is a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, and is full of love, not of revenge, not of oppression, and you know that's not what I believe. And I do, I had the opportunity to be initiated into the Yoruba religion by Miss Ketty Teanga, you know, and Janet Namer … they passed the legacy - so now I have to continue with my legacy as a Yoruba priest. Everything is about spirituality and everything is about love and understanding. And liberation. I think, for me, just like Pidgeon, I became an activist. For many years. I was living under the sheriff… And as a kid, it was more “Don’t do it. Don't do it. Don't do it” that I was suppressed to be actually the adult that I am. Right? So now the future g- , the second generations, like my nieces and nephews, they allow the kids to express themselves. And for me, when it comes to my family, I know that I did the right thing by being able to break the chains and shackles and be able to change, you know, not only in my family when it comes to accept a portion of the LGBTQ community in my family, but, you know, in the world. And when it comes to prison abolition, you know, I thoroughly believe that that’s a lot of work I still have to do as a prison abolitionist because all those who want …had break me into many pieces and shame and it’s just like a puzzle, you know, and I have to come together and try to find all those pieces in order for me to continue creating change and every single person that comes to me seeking for spirituality, seeking for guidance, seeking for a word of acceptance.

KO (54:37 - 55:22)
Thank you, Tania, yeah, absolutely. I’m glad you mention Miss Ketty and Janet Namer because they’re two trans women who were really an important part of the santería Yoruba community in Chicago - and the idea that we’re not always excluded, right, sometimes we are very much a part of the spiritual communities and we want to change that narrative that that spirituality and religion is not for us because really like in many ways, it was created by us, right? So thank you so much for lifting up those two Latina women who are no longer with us but their impact is obviously still present through the work that you're doing both community-wise and spiritually, so thank you, Tania.

TC (55:23 - 56:27)
And even … To add to it. Even in the Yoruba religion, trans women … gay people, they were accepted and it was okay. But for a trans woman to be initiated into the religion, it wasn’t accepted. So Janet Namer actually came and changed the dynamic of acceptance, and Ketty Teanga who was the first trans woman living as a trans woman to be initiated into the Yoruba religion. I think now, for me, I have to continue the legacy and to advocate for the LGBTQ community. And any kind of culture or religion - I think gender, sexual orientation and race should not be ever, ever, an obstacle to be part of a religious culture.

KO (56:28 - 57:41)
Thank you, Tania. Thank you all so much for sharing with us your wonderful existence. Thank you so much for your wonderful words. We want to make sure that everyone knows that we will be emailing everybody who came [registered] to our panel to watch - you'll be getting a recording via your email, so if you want to spread the word and pass on the words of these wonderful panelists, please do so. Also we want to encourage you all in the chat or through email to send us what your liberatory dreams look like. What do they feel like for you? And if you like via our social media pages. Again, I am Karari Olvera, joined today by Tania Cordova, Jamie Frazier and Pidgeon Pagonis. And this has been a Pride Panel by Praxis, if you’d like to follow us we are @praxischi on every social media platform. Once again, everyone, thank you so much. And thank you once again to my good friend Nestor who interpreted this entire panel. Thank you all once again and finally, I'm so happy to have you in community. Happy Pride everyone.

JF (57:42 - 57:49)
Happy Pride. Happy Pride everyone.

PP (57:50 -57:51)
Bye everybody.

When you say "Happy Pride" Make Sure You Mean It

By: Tiffany M. Favers du Shine (she/her)

I’ll let you in on a little secret: I don’t hate rainbow capitalism.

I’ve always loved rainbows; even more so since coming out. So imagine my sheer joy each June when Pride and my birthday month means every national chain, and most local chains too, rolling out massive rainbow displays for sale. I try to resist, and usually only fall for a-certain-bullseye-chain’s yearly stash. Everything says ‘Happy Pride’ and the oh-so-popular #LoveWins...

But Pride is about more than rainbows and love winning. It’s also about affirmation, celebration and respect. 

Pride is about acknowledging the past struggles the LGBTQ2IA+ community has faced to get this far. And it now must include all the struggles our community faces, especially our trans siblings, to simply be allowed to exist! With nearly 500 (pause for emphasis!) anti-LGBTQ2IA+ bills targeting our rights, before you tell me Happy Pride, make sure you mean it.

What do I mean by "mean it?"

• You understand that ally is a verb, not a title

• You share your pronouns with others so they know it’s safe to share theirs with you (really just looking at the cis folks for this one!)

• You actually read and use the pronouns that people have listed (on Zoom, in their Slack profile, in their email signature, etc)

• You are actively considering how accessible and inclusive the spaces you inhabit are. From your homes to your offices and public social spaces such as gyms, bars, and clubs. 

• You remember to include young people and elders in your plans for LGBTQ2IA+ folks

• You practice using gender neutral language in everyday situations (it’s hard to stop saying ‘guys’ - I know! - but we can all try! hint hint download our new guide if you need help finding inclusive alternatives)

Pride should be a happy time for our community.

A time to come together and celebrate our existence, our achievements, our fabulousness, but it’s hard to see the positives when there is still so much vitriol and hatred directed toward us.

I get more than enough faux Pride from the big box stores and the corporate filled Pride Parade.

The first Pride was a riot, and every Pride after it should be filled with action and forward movement for our community.

So, Happy Pride to the real ones and the real ones only. 

Transgender Day of Visibility

Transgender Day of Visibility aka #TDOV brings up mixed feelings for us.

Our TLDR is as @kaichengthom wrote in 2018: “trans visibility does not equal trans liberation” and “we must remember that representation and revolution are not at all the same thing."

We love celebrating all our siblings and are so grateful for our trancestors’ work to create a day to celebrate us not just in our death but also while we are alive.

The founder of TDOV, Rachel Crandall-Crocker herself said the day is a “double-edged sword” because it can increase or lead to attacks. She told @them in 2021 “if I had to do it again, knowing what I know now, I’m not 100% convinced I would create the International Transgender Day of Visibility."

Rachel has also talked about the need for allies to be visible and speak up and take action to support trans people. This is crucial for our liberation.

@kaichengthom also has pointed out that while there are more trans people on tv and in the media than before, we remain disproportionately homeless and suicidal. “Trans people’s visibility has skyrocketed, but anti-trans legislation and discrimination remain rampant.”

Our hopes and dreams are bigger than visibility. But we can’t reach them alone. We need allies to be active and loud for us. We need people to materially help trans people and not just give to nonprofits that cherrypick days like TDOV to fundraise. As @kararianagrande wrote on our 2020 TDOV post: We want a life as bountiful as the genders we embody. We need our allies to help us make it a reality.

Our feelings are mixed because we want to be seen, to be heard, to be cared for. We want to know our lives matter, and we want this to be reflected in more than just words and hashtags.

We are starting the #TDOV conversation a few days early to allow everyone to make a plan for how you will celebrate and acknowledge our trans siblings, how you will fight for our right to exist, to survive, to thrive, to live and to be seen on this day and all days.

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Using “Elle” in Spanish

Any Spanish speaker already knows the pronouns “ella” and “él.” These are what we use every day to refer to individuals in the third person: most often “ella” for a woman and “él” for a man. But there are not only women and men in this world; nonbinary and gender expansive people also exist and we need to be able to use non-gendered pronouns in order to be gender-affirming for everyone.

For English speakers, referring to someone in a gender-neutral way only requires the use of singular “they.” But in Spanish “they” translates to “ellos” or “ellas” which are not gender-neutral. So what can you do to be inclusive?

Recently, many people have begun to use the neopronoun “elle” (with its corresponding direct object pronoun “le”) as a possible alternative to the binary options “él” and “ella.”

SUBJECT PRONOUN EXAMPLES
He got home very late. His mom scolded him.
Él llegó muy tarde a casa. Su mamá lo regañó.

She got home very late. Her mom scolded her.
Ella llegó muy tarde a casa. Su mamá la regañó.

They got home very late. Their mom scolded them.
Elle llegó muy tarde a casa. Su mamá le regañó.

Noun Modifications

Using “elle” requires additional modifications, since, like pronouns, most articles, nouns, and adjectives in Spanish have a masculine or feminine grammatical gender. In order not to misgender the nonbinary people in our lives, a gender-neutral ending is needed for nouns like “amigo/amiga” or adjectives like “bonita/bonito.”

Previously, the x and @ sign have been used to modify words and create inclusive versions. However, pronunciation is difficult with these two options, and it also proves to be an obstacle for people who use screenreaders. Inclusion must also include people with disabilities. For this reason, in conjunction with “elle,” the use of the -e ending is now used to create gender-neutral articles, nouns, adjectives and pronouns for words that typically have only two gendered options.

The way to create gender-neutral articles, nouns, adjectives and pronouns is super easy: you take the feminine gender version of the word and

• If it ends in -ga, remove the -a and add -ue

• If it ends in -ca, exchange the C for a Q, remove the -a, and add -ue

• If it ends in any other letter with -a, remove the -a, and add -e

NOUN EXAMPLES
He is a very wise teacher.
Él es un maestro muy sabio.

She is a very wise teacher.
Ella es una maestra muy sabia.

They are a very wise teacher
Elle es une maestre muy sabie.

We are annoyed with the weather.
Nosotros estamos fastidiados con el clima.
Nosotras estamos fastidiadas con el clima.
Nosotres estamos fastidiades con el clima.

Gender-Ambiguous Words

For words that are already gender-ambiguous like “usted,” “modelo,” or “cortés,” no change is required, regardless of what letters it ends in. 

AMBIGUOUS EXAMPLES
The student is very intelligent. 
El estudiante es muy inteligente.
La estudiante es muy inteligente.
Le estudiante es muy inteligente.

You are friends.
Ustedes son amigas.
Ustedes son amigos.
Ustedes son amigues.

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Final Note

Now you know how to use “elle” and the -e ending to be able to refer to nonbinary people in a way that's affirming and inclusive.

Although the evolution of languages is something completely natural – currently – neither “elle” nor the -e ending are officially recognized. However, their use continues to increase. And since there are no official grammar rules, there will be words that cannot easily be converted to a gender-neutral version (e.g. actor/actriz) and there will be people who use other pronouns or endings. It is good practice to ask what pronouns someone uses if you don't already know. 

Lastly, we admit that it may sound a little strange to use “elle” and the -e ending in the very beginning. New things often make us uncomfortable, but with practice, we can create a Spanish-speaking culture where everyone is included and affirmed.

Vocabulary

We’ve updated our vocabulary sheets. We also have this vocabulario resource in Spanish as well.

These definitions and terms are ever-evolving and shift depending on region, context, and other variables. The most important thing to keep in mind is that people should be allowed to self-identify. This list is intended as a starting point and is not exhaustive.

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Ally - A person who supports and advocates for marginalized groups/identities to which they do not necessarily belong. A person who interrupts the disrespectful or problematic remarks and actions of others, and who is willing to explore forms of bias and privilege within themselves. (Praxis believes that “ally” isn’t a label you give yourself, but rather one given to you by the people directly impacted.)

Asexual - A sexual orientation for a person who experiences little or no sexual attraction.

Assigned sex - Sex recorded at birth by a doctor or other birth attendant, usually based solely on external genitalia. This determines what gender marker (M for male, F for female or I for intersex) goes on a baby’s birth certificate.

Bisexual - A sexual orientation for a person who is attracted (romantically, sexually, and/or emotionally) to people with the same gender identity as them, as well as to people with gender identities different from theirs.

Cisgender
▴ A person whose gender identity and/or expression aligns with their sex assigned at birth
▴ Cisgender generally means “not transgender”
▴ “Cis” is the Latin for “on the same side as.”
▴ Cisgender is an adjective and therefore needs a noun after it (cisgender woman, cisgender person)

Drag queen/king - A person who dresses as another persona periodically for the purpose of entertainment, making a political statement, and/or as a form of self-expression. Drag queens/kings do not necessarily identify as another sex or gender, although they may refer to themselves as someone of another gender while in drag.

FTM/F2M - Female to male. A trans person who was assigned female at birth and today is a boy/man.

Gay - A sexual orientation for a person who is attracted (romantically, sexually and/or emotionally) to someone of the same gender.  Gay is not limited to a specific gender although it is sometimes assumed to be only for men.

Gender - Various traits, characteristics, and roles that a culture associates with or assigns to physical sex. Someone’s internal sense of who they are.

Gender binary - A code (rooted in colonial, white supremacist concepts) of acceptable and expected identities and behaviors that teaches that there are only two sexes (male and female) and only two genders (man and woman). This system also presupposes that anyone assigned male at birth is a man, and anyone assigned female at birth is a woman. Most discussions about gender assume a binary gender system and disregard the idea that there are people who may not identify within the binary/only two options.

Gender expression - The way a person expresses their gender identity externally, through behavior and appearance. Gender expression can be read and perceived by others, however perceptions about someone’s gender identity based on their gender expression may or may not accurately correspond with how that person identifies.

Gender identity - How an individual experiences and conceptualizes their gender, regardless of their assigned sex at birth. Gender identity is what a person knows about their gender on the inside, and may or may not be apparent to others.

Gender nonconforming (GNC) - The gender identity and/or gender expression of a person whose gender expression differs from or does not conform to societal expectations associated with their sex assigned at birth. Gender nonconforming people may not be either man or woman, but rather as a gender outside of the gender binary. Some people use the term nonbinary or gender expansive.

Intersex - Intersex is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of natural bodily variations. Intersex people are born with sex characteristics that do not fit typical binary notions of “male” or “female” bodies. (1)

Lesbian - A sexual orientation for a woman who is attracted (romantically, sexually and/or emotionally) to other women.

MTF/M2F - Male to female. A trans person who was assigned male at birth and today is a girl/woman.

Pansexual - A sexual orientation for a person who is attracted (romantically, sexually and/or emotionally) to people regardless of sex or gender. “Consider pansexual attraction as being transcendent of gender, meaning: it isn’t limited by gender… or sex.”

Queer - Having a sexual orientation, sex, gender identity, and/or gender expression that differs from cultural norms. This term was traditionally derogatory but has been reclaimed by some because of its broad definition and fluid and inclusive quality. Not all people under the LGBT+ umbrella are queer.

Sex - The categorization of bodies by chromosomes, hormone levels, genitalia, and secondary sex characteristics. Doctors often simplify this by determining sex solely based on external genitalia. Sex is assigned male, female or intersex at birth.

Sexual orientation - Who a person is/is not romantically, emotionally, and/or physically attracted to.

Two-spirit - An umbrella term indexing various indigenous gender identities in North America. Many tribes have specific terms, but there was a need for universal terms to describe gender concepts that do not exist in English. For example, Navajo uses Nádleehí, Lakota uses Winkté, Ojibwe uses Niizh Manidoowag and Cheyenne uses Hemaneh.

Transgender
▴ A person whose gender identity and/or expression does not align with their sex assigned at birth
▴ Transgender generally means “not cisgender”
▴ “Trans” is the Latin for "across" or "beyond" or "on the other side of"
▴ Transgender is an adjective and therefore needs a noun after it (transgender woman, trans person)
▴ There is no one way to be trans and trans people may or may not take steps to transition medically 

(1) adapted from www.pidgeonismy.name
(2) adapted from www.teenvogue.com/story/what-is-pansexuality

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Terms to be cautious of:
Hermaphrodite, transvestite, tranny, he-she, she-male, it.
These words have historically been used as derogatory terms for transgender and gender nonconforming people. Although some people within queer and trans communities have reclaimed these words and may use them positively, they are not considered positive words by everyone and use of them by cisgender people is almost always inappropriate.

Notes on the LGBTQ2IA+ Acronym
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Transgender
Queer (sometimes also Questioning)
2 (two) spirit (2 or 2S)
Intersex
Asexual and/or Agender (not ally)

• Every person chooses which word(s) are applicable to them

• The plus (+) indicates that the acronym does not include all sexual orientations, genders, etc.

• The acronym mixes concepts together:

  • LGBQA = sexual orientations

  • T = gender identity

  • I = sex assigned at birth

  • 2S = culturally specific

Celebrating 5 Years!

September 21, 2023 marks 5 years since the government recognized us as a business AKA when we got our LLC!

As of today, we’ve worked with the teams of 88 different agencies, companies, and organizations. We are so grateful for all the opportunities we’ve had to collaborate with so many people. It’s been particularly special to witness the growth of our long-term partners over these 5 years. These experiences and partnerships really illustrate that we are more than the sum of all our parts.

While the work we do at Praxis is often categorized exclusively under the DEI umbrella, we know it's bigger than that; our end goal is liberation. We are both dreaming up and actively cultivating new worlds that center joy, abundance, care and dignity.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us and referred folks to us. It is because of all the people who have trusted us that Praxis has evolved into what it is today.

Responding to Pronoun Pushback

Change can be difficult for many of us. We are creatures of habit. Because of this, it is common that when you are instituting changes to make your spaces more inclusive of trans and gender nonconforming people that you may get some pushback from those who are unfamiliar with everything you may have learned in our Trans Affirming Best Practices workshop.

First, consider what your goal is.

What outcome would you like to have from your interaction? These questions will help you guide the conversations.

• Are you hoping to change their mind?

• Are you hoping they will change their behavior?

• Are you simply informing them of protocol from your organization/business?

There are dozens of motivations and desired outcomes for why we introduce ourselves with our pronouns. Additionally, you may want to consider:

• Regardless of other people’s reactions or investment in behavior change, are you modeling trans-affirming best practices in support of trans people? This is valuable within itself.

• Are you upholding your workplace’s stated mission, vision and/or values? You can always fall back on this if someone is upset about your actions. This may sound like “this organization respects every individual’s autonomy and therefore we like to ask how they like to be called.”

Next, determine if you know their motivation and assess the context you are in.

Along with your goals and desired outcomes, their positionality/stance/feelings and the context of the situation will determine how you can respond. For instance, have they shared their stance? Are they able to internally even name their own feelings?

While we acknowledge that impact weighs more than intention (even if I accidentally step on your foot, I acknowledge and apologize; even though I didn’t mean to, the impact is that your foot hurts), it can sometimes be helpful to discern where the person is coming from. There is a difference between confusion or ignorance versus antagonism and hatred. And your response can take this into consideration. They may they be feeling: 

• Anger

• Confusion

• Concerned

• Hesitancy

• Ignorance

• “I have a strong stance against this.”

There are many, many contexts we could be in:

• Are you alone?

• Are you in public?

• Do you know the person?

• Will you ever see the person again?

• What is the power dynamic? (e.g. supervisor and supervisee)

• Are you standing up for a specific trans person? If so, how would they want you to advocate for them?

• Where are you? Are you at work, home, the grocery store, etc? Is it safe?

• Are we giving too much time and energy to antagonistic people? 

• Are we centering the feelings of antagonistic people over the lives of trans and gender expansive people?

Remember why you are doing this.

Remember why we introduce ourselves with our pronouns and include them on things like our Zoom names, email signatures and business cards.

Just like we cannot assume anybody’s name just by looking at them, we cannot assume anybody’s pronouns just by looking at them. Some people think gender/pronouns are obvious, but it isn’t always; so in order to avoid making incorrect assumptions, we err on the side of respect.

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“We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.”

— James Baldwin

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More reasons:

• We believe in everyone’s self-determination and autonomy. To honor people’s humanity and authenticity, we give them the opportunities to tell us how they want to be called.

• When you model this, you are signaling to trans and gender expansive people that it is probably okay for them to share their authentic selves with you. They may not otherwise disclose their pronouns to you first.

• It is literally a matter of life and death for a lot of trans and gender expansive people, including young people. While we don’t believe in binary choices, it can be helpful to contextualize this as affirming someone and saving their life versus letting someone who is angry/confused be angry and confused for a moment. In 2022, the Trevor Project reported that:

  • 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.

  • Nearly 1 in 5 transgender and nonbinary youth attempted suicide and LGBTQ youth of color reported higher rates than their white peers.

  • LGBTQ youth who felt high social support from their family reported attempting suicide at less than half the rate of those who felt low or moderate social support.

What are the downfalls?

There are various reasons people hesitate to share their pronouns. There are even more reasons to do it anyway that often outweigh the potential downfall.

1. Whoever you are speaking to won’t understand what you’re saying.

• It’s okay for people to be confused. We all learn new things every day.

• Do we care more about someone’s confusion or protecting TGNC people?

2. Someone may be offended.

• Do we need to have a moment with them or engage at all?

3. You may experience backlash.

• Are we centering the most marginalized?

• Are you physically unsafe or just uncomfortable?

• Does the other person/people have power over you? Could they retaliate in a way that threatens you, your family, your job?

4. It is private information.

• Most people use pronouns in everyday language when referring to people.

5. “In my day, we didn’t have pronouns.”

• Most groups of people have general expectations that we respect people and call everyone by the name they go by and the pronouns they use.

• Pronouns have existed for centuries.

Potential Scripts/Responses

After you assess your safety and consider your goals and their motivation, and you decide you will engage, here are some options of what you can say. Use whatever is most authentic to you. Mix and match.

• We respect everyone here the same, therefore we call everyone by the name they go by and pronouns they use.

• Documented use of singular they/them pronouns has existed since Shakespeare and it’s in most major dictionaries. Regardless, it’s the respectful thing to do.

• Trans people in my life have asked me to do this and this is how I am an ally. 

• Just like I don’t know your name until you tell me, I don’t know your pronouns until you tell me.

• Referring to people with pronouns is useful for me so I don’t have to keep repeating your name every time I refer to you.

• This is our company policy.

• My boss told me I have to do this.

• Inclusion is important to me.

• Sharing pronouns is optional. You do not have to do it if you don’t want to and I can do it if I want to.

Trans-Antagonism Across the US

Trans people are under attack.

This latest wave of new anti-trans bills and laws are absolutely heartbreaking. The State and Federal governments’ attempts to shame, other, criminalize, and even worse, erase the existence of trans and gender non-conforming (TGNC) people is truly horrific. At the time of publishing this newsletter there are more than 500 anti-trans bills in the United States. Only Delaware, Puerto Rico, and Washington DC have not introduced any anti-trans bill during the 2023 Legislative Session. These bills seek to prohibit inclusive bathrooms, limit or exclude trans people from sports, restrict what can be taught in schools, and in some states, police who is allowed to access trans-affirming and oftentimes life saving care. While the means may differ, the goal is the same: attempting to erase the existence of our communities.

Our hearts ache as we watch TGNC people struggle through this increased and seemingly renewed vigor for hate. It is overwhelming and often brings up feelings of helplessness as we watch the mere humanity of some of the people we love the most be questioned. 

Things that help us during all this is remembering that trans people have always existed, always been here and always will be. We think about the trans elders who came before us and risked their all to get us to this point. We think about the bravery of Marsha P Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, and Chicago’s own Mama Gloria and Miss Major Griffin-Gracy. We think of the personal sacrifices they made, and – in the case of Miss Major – continue to do, for the betterment of the trans community; we remember that it was our community that got us this far all along. 

We will keep each other safe. 

We will center joy and celebrate our identities.

We will fight back. 

TGNC people have always been here and we will ensure they always will be. 

Praxis continues to offer our Trans-Affirming Best Practices workshop to many organizations and groups looking to ensure they are fostering a welcoming and inclusive environment. We are grateful to every group who dedicates the time and effort to join us for this informative workshop and to create conversation around how to support your group’s values. These conversations are key components in moving beyond tolerance and immediately into an environment of respect and true inclusion. 

When people feel welcome to bring their true selves to the table, teams are more productive, innovation is encouraged, and businesses thrive. We cannot expect that people can bring their full selves to the table when their humanity and right to exist is being decided by politicians and courts. We are excited to offer 3 sliding scale public Trans-Affirming Best Practices workshops in June, including one in Spanish. Praxis will continue to monitor what is happening in legislative sessions and court rooms around the country. We are also here to provide help and support to those navigating this challenging time. 

Trans-Affirming Best Practices FAQ

Why is this pronoun stuff becoming such a big deal? What do I do when people list multiple pronouns? I don’t understand all these new words. What if it’s just too hard for me? What's the difference between trans & nonbinary?

Visit our new FAQ page for our answers.

Autumn 2021 Updates

Praxis is… coming out!

In this last season, Praxis:

• facilitated a 2-part workshop, Exploring Power & Privilege + Creating a Culture of Feedback, with Northwest Side Housing Center

• Interrupting Microaggressions + Creating a Culture of Feedback with Grainger

• led several sessions of Trans and Gender Non-Conforming (TGNC) Affirming Best Practices with Be Yoga Andersonville, Friends of the Forest Preserves, Feeding America employees, and the Field Museum leadership

• consulted with Planned Parenthood and Embrace Sexual Wellness to evaluate their current programming

• moderated the first of a two-panel series entitled Gender Identity Allyship and Strategies in the Workplace with the American Medical Association

• facilitated a public workshop called Somebody I love is nonbinary and raised $1,097 for LiftyBoi and Han Training’s new gym (the first openly QTPOC-owned and run fitness facility in Chicago)

And... we've rebranded!

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Becoming Praxis: Our relaunch!

In partnership with Danbee Kim of Oori Studio, we've updated our logo and overall aesthetic to match our evolution.

HOW IT STARTED → HOW IT'S GOING

Image description 1: Praxis Group is written in all capital letters in the middle a dark teal triangle. The words come out the sides and the triangle doesn't completely close so that the letters can expand outward. Praxis is slightly bigger and placed above Group.

Image description 2: A dynamic triangle in various shades of teal. There are no words in the image.

This pandemic has taught us a lot of things, one being that time is fake. We can't believe it's been more than 3 years since we launched Praxis.

Since 2018, we've worked with 54 clients. Our team is bolder. All of our workshops look critically at how white supremacy has an impact on all of us and how it negatively impacts teams. Internally we are looking at how our workshops have centered whiteness and how we can create a more inclusive environment to learn and grow along with our clients. We challenge our clients and workshop participants to confront difficult conversations and think through elegant next steps (as defined by adrienne maree brown in Emergent Strategy).

We've kept the triangle in our logo but added more dimension to represent our team's growth as we prioritize our own learning and cultural humility. The triangle symbolizes community, solidarity, queerness and change. We - often led by Black trans women - have used this symbol as we’ve spent decades fighting for human rights and creating joy.

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Our equity statement

🗹 We are committed to learning and growth.
🗹 We believe in cultural humility and understand that learning is a lifelong commitment.
🗹 We recognize that anti-Black racism is pervasive in our communities.
🗹 We recognize that feedback is a gift of someone investing their time and energy in me.
🗹 We will give and receive feedback with grace, recognizing that we are socialized to get defensive and that we may need to address that inclination.
🗹 We understand that impact weighs more than intention.
🗹 We will center those who are harmed, meaning we will hold the needs of survivors/victims over the feelings of the person who caused harm.
🗹 We will continue to work to name and examine the ways in which we have power and privilege and how we can use that to truly stand in solidarity with marginalized people and communities.
🗹 We understand it is not the responsibility of marginalized people to educate us.
🗹 We commit to cultivate human potential by increasing racial equity; creating employment and business opportunities; and investing equitably in our communities.
🗹 We are centering BIPOC communities, believing BIPOC communities and affirming that BIPOC communities are valuable, the experts of their own experience and deserve lives of love and dignity.
🗹 We recognize joy as the foundation for our collective healing and liberation.
🗹 We believe in both self-care and community-care are necessary.
🗹 We reject the scarcity model and its roots in white supremacy.
🗹 We believe in abundance and our abilities to care for ourselves, our loved ones and our communities.
🗹 We believe none of us are free until all of us are free.
🗹 We are abolitionists and are actively working towards a world without police or prisons.

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Raffle

Over the summer Praxis partnered with Luxe Beauty & Body Sculpting to offer 6 full face laser hair removal sessions each to 2 BIPOC TGNC community members in the Chicagoland area. Thank you so much to Brittni Thomas for making this possible!

Luxe Beauty is Chicago's first trans-owned skin and beauty bar! It is located on the 3rd floor in the Nordstrom on Michigan Ave.

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What's next?

As we move into our next stage together, you can look forward to

• Restorative Justice circle opportunities with Tiffany

• Workshops in Spanish open to the public

• Revamped workshops with a focus on group-centered learning

• Train-the-trainer opportunities and guidance for internal workgroups to make their trainings more trans-affirming and gender inclusive

• One-on-one consultations to review and update your forms and/or paperwork

Speaking of Spanish workshops... our full website has been translated into Spanish! Thank you so much to Bonsai Bermudez of the Youth Empowerment Performance Project (YEPP)! We are constantly working to make our work more accessible.

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National Coming Out Day

On October 11, we celebrated Coming Out Day with a new post on Instagram. (The algorithm hates us, please go show us some love!)

Tiffany (she/her) said:
National Coming Out Day will always feel significant to me because there was a long period of my life when I felt I would never come out. Coming out was scary for me, but in doing so I learned to be able to embrace my full and authentic self. And that has been the greatest gift I could give to myself. Coming out blessed me with a second family and I am grateful everyday for their love and support. To my LGBTQ2IA+ family everywhere (out or not), you are worthy, you are wanted, you are loved. 

We are basking in the abundant love we have for each other. Whether you decide to be out or not doesn’t change that.

Image description: a photo of Tiffany that is photoshopped onto the background of a smart phone. Tiffany is outside smiling with her hands on her hips. She’s wearing hoop earrings and a septum piercing. The top left of the photo has Praxis’s logo and the top right has Facebook, Twitter and Instagram logos with @praxischi underneath. The top half of the background is peach and the bottom half has a red wave. Over the phone and photo of Tiffany is an alert-like white bubble that has an icon of an alarm bell and the words “National Coming Out Day” next to it. Underneath is a gold line and the words “Coming out was scary for me, but in doing so I learned to be able to embrace my full and authentic self. And that has been the greatest gift I could give to myself.” in black font.” The very bottom says “www.praxischi.com” in white capital letters.

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New clients

If you'd like to schedule a free consultation, please fill out this form.

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Referrals

If you’re looking for a referral for an alternative facilitator or training team, please check out this community-generated list. There are a lot of BIPOC offering consulting services nationwide / some of the best facilitators we know don’t have websites or meet the “criteria” that dominant and oppressive cultures value as “legitimate.” In order to assist you in searching for collaborators, we’ve opened a form to collect the information of BIPOC facilitators for you to reach out to. Praxis Group does not necessarily know or vouch for anyone on the community-generated list; we try our hardest to not participate in gatekeeping. If you are a BIPOC consultant doing work similar to Praxis Group, please fill out the form to be added to our spreadsheet.

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Want to support us?

One of the simplest ways to support us is to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Linkedin, and invite your friends to follow us, too! 

Most of our partnerships happen via word of mouth and we're really grateful for all your support.

We are also looking for new testimonials from our past clients that we can add to our website. If you’ve worked with us before and would be willing to share, please reply to this e-mail with 2-5 sentences about your experience with Praxis.

Two Evanston Wards Host Trans-Affirming Workshop

Original article by Adina Keeling, Evanston RoundTable on June 27, 2021

Nearly 23 residents attended a June 22 virtual workshop on trans-affirming practices, co-sponsored by Council Members Tom Suffredin, 6th Ward, and Cicely Fleming, 9th Ward.

The workshop covered topics including pronoun usage, intersectionality, terminology, the history and context of transphobic systems, “outing,” and coming out. Many parents and grandparents who wanted to better support their LGBTQ+ children or grandchildren attended the free workshop. 

Ms. Fleming said the workshop is part of the Ninth Ward’s Building Community summer series, which includes free yoga classes, live music, and community gatherings.

“Building community means recognizing and understanding and valuing all the diversity the community brings,” said Ms. Fleming. 

Praxis Group, an LGBTQ+ consulting practice in Chicago, facilitated the event, and Praxis Group co-founder Jes Scheinpflug led the workshop, which was only accessible to 6th and 9th Ward residents. Given the high degree of interest, Scheinpflug hopes that other Council members will bring these workshops into their wards. 

The trans-affirming workshop began with an introduction on cultural humility, and went on to explore how learning to be affirming is a lifelong commitment. Scheinpflug discussed pronouns and why pronoun introductions are important. Attendants were then sent into break-out rooms to practice introducing themselves with their pronouns, and correcting themselves after using incorrect pronouns. 

The workshop also covered intersectionality, sexual and gender discrimination, and the suicide attempt rate within the trans community, which is 41%. Trans and nonbinary youth who are respected by most people in their lives are 50% less likely to attempt suicide, according to the Trevor Project. Reflecting on this statistic, Scheinpflug said the disparity suggested the importance of support for trans and nonbinary youth. 

Participants learned the difference between an individual’s gender identity – the gender they identify with – and their sex assigned at birth. Scheinpflug also explained how these terms differ from sexual orientation, which refers to a person’s pattern of romantic or sexual attraction. In discussing terminology, Scheinpflug emphasized that being a supportive ally isn’t about memorizing words, but rather about knowing how to ask the right questions. 

In another exercise, attendants were asked to make assumptions about Scheinpflug’s gender, and whether they presented themselves with more traditionally female mannerisms, clothing choices, and behaviors, or if they presented themselves in a more masculine manner. The array of responses underscored for participants how assumptions people make on a daily basis are influenced by their own understanding of gender, which differs greatly among individuals.

The workshop concluded with questions from attendants. “Most people there had a loved one in their life who they had specific questions about,” said Scheinpflug. “We talked about trying to create the safest place possible, knowing that no one can guarantee someone else’s safety.”

Ms. Fleming said the residents she spoke with after the workshop said they benefited from it and would like a second workshop. She said she paid for the workshop out of pocket, and doesn’t know if she’ll host another workshop because of the expense. But she hopes the City staff and City Council will organize more LGBTQ+-affirming programming. 

“I hope the City of Evanston will do some more education and advocacy,” added Scheinpflug. “I don’t see a lot done for the trans community.”

Many trans people didn’t ‘become’ something else — so please avoid that word.

Original article posted in the Chicago Sun-Times Letters to the Editor on Jan 10, 2020, 3:17pm CST

We’re writing to express concern in response to Laura Washington’s column last week, “Raising sons who became daughters is a shared story for Kim Lightford, Heather Steans.”

First, the title inaccurately describes the experiences of trans people. GLAAD’s concise Media Reference Guide says “Avoid phrases like ‘sex change’ or ‘born a man’ in headlines.” Why? Because many trans people didn’t “become” something else. Just because people didn’t know we were trans doesn’t mean we weren’t always trans. Unless the person you’re referencing describes themself as “becoming,” it is harmful.

For example, we weren’t “born women” — the doctor assigned us female at birth by glancing between our legs and checking a box. This assumption isn’t based on biology, hormone measurement, or chromosomal makeup. So, using the words “born as,” “biological” or “become” is incorrect and unscientific.

There’s also no reason to use or quote a trans person’s deadname, their given name that they themselves no longer use. Laverne Cox “lambasted deadnaming” in a 2018 Washington Post article. She talks about the pain of police deadnaming and misgendering trans people even after they’re murdered. As GLAAD says, “Many people use names they have chosen for themselves, and the media does not mention their birth name when writing about them.” (e.g., Lady Gaga, Whoopi Goldberg)

Also, the article mentions one of the senator’s children being bullied at school and contemplating suicide. According to the U.S. Transgender Survey, trans people face disparate levels of poverty and discrimination. One of the toughest to swallow is that “41% percent of transgender respondents reported attempting suicide, compared to 1.6% of the general population.” This number is so high because we’re often kicked out of our homes at a young age, struggle to finish school, are discriminated against for housing, jobs, etc. The least a newspaper can do is get our name and pronouns correct.

Trans people get so little coverage and when we do, we’re misgendered and deadnamed. Ultimately, we’d love to share what outwardly looks like a happy story, but cannot because we know it will harm our community. We strongly believe you can do better.

August Stockwell, founder of Upswing Advocates
Bunny McKensie Mack, founder of Boundary Work
Jes Scheinpflug, co-founder of Praxis Group

Singular They/Them Pronouns

INTRO
@mlevine10 said it all: One of the most affirming things you can do for a trans person is to use the correct pronouns. I didn’t say ‘preferred pronoun’ because it’s not a preference, like chocolate or vanilla. When a trans person tells you what their pronoun is, there is now a correct pronoun and wrong ones. Some people are fine with more than one, others move between pronouns, which just means there are more ways for you to make someone’s day. It’s completely understandable that change takes time, your trans friends and family know that, but that is no excuse not to try. And when mistakes happen, which they will (they happen to me too!), you apologize, correct yourself and work to do better. You have to take time and practice…

YOU ALREADY USE SINGULAR THEY ALL THE TIME.
“Someone left their cell phone here.”
“Whose jacket is this? They have great style.”
“Do you know who won? I want to congratulate them.”

It absolutely takes conscious effort, but nothing else to afford trans/nonbinary/gnc people basic respect and courtesy. Change the culture and normalize sharing pronouns by adding YOUR pronouns to your email signature and social media profiles. Next time you introduce yourself, share your pronouns. It makes absolutely no difference to most people, but to the one person who wasn’t sure if they were going to have to go the whole day misgendered and unseen, it makes all the difference in the world. Try using ‘they/them/their’ for one of your child’s (human or animal) stuffed animals or toys. Correct others when they misgender someone you know (always make sure your trans friend is out and wants this), whether your friend is present or not. The emotional energy (or physical risk, etc) it takes for an ally to correct someone is so much less than the energy it takes someone who has to look people in the eye and ask for basic human decency every day… I’m pledging to do better. I hope you will, too.

ARTICLES

• 2015 Word of the Year is singular “they” (2015) by The American Dialect Society

• The Washington Post will allow singular ‘they’ (2015)

• Words We're Watching: Singular 'They' (2017) by Merriam-Webster

• The singular, gender-neutral ‘they’ added to the Associated Press Stylebook (2017)

• A brief history of singular ‘they’ (2018) by the Oxford English Dictionary blog

• It’s OK To Use “They” To Describe One Person: Here’s Why (2019) by dictionary.com
  

MORE RESOURCES
Gender-Specific and Gender-Neutral Pronouns infographic
Ask. Respect. Practice.

A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bongiovanni and Tristan Jimerson
Archie, a snarky genderqueer artist, is tired of people not understanding gender neutral pronouns. Tristan, a cisgender dude, is looking for an easy way to introduce gender neutral pronouns to his increasingly diverse workplace. The longtime best friends team up in this short and fun comic guide that explains what pronouns are, why they matter, and how to use them. They also include what to do if you make a mistake, and some tips-and-tricks for those who identify outside of the binary to keep themselves safe in this binary-centric world. A quick and easy resource for people who use they/them pronouns, and people who want to learn more!

What’s in a Pronoun?: Resources and Activities on Third-Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns assembled by Dubbs Weinblatt, Essie Shachar-Hill, and Jacob Klein
On the most basic level, using people’s correct pronouns is about respect. In the same way we ask
people’s names so we can refer to them correctly, using people’s pronouns is about honoring them as a person.

Practicewithpronouns.com
Want to see how to use ze/zir, ze/hir, ey/em, ve/ver, ne/nem, xe/xem, or they/them in a sentence?

Minus18’s pronoun practice
This site is super mobile friendly and interactive.

They Is My Pronoun (TIMP)
Lee Airton provides an interactive guide to using gender-neutral pronouns and supporting people who use them. Lee answers questions, post thoughts and share a ton of helpful resources.

#HopefulGender cards
Created by Praxis Group, these FREE cards are for folks who are tired of being misgendered by family, friends and strangers. They’re also for cis allies who want to encourage people to not assume gender.

#AlwaysAndersonville the podcast

This week, Laura and Joelle are joined by Jes Scheinpflug and Kate Harrington-Rosen, co-founders of Praxis Group. Praxis redefines group and organizational culture so that people feel empowered to bring their full selves to the table and offer support to businesses creating a more inclusive environment. They offer a sliding scale of services for nonprofits, small businesses, and individuals alike.

Key Notes:

• Jes and Kate met after they were both hired for work at a nonprofit in Chicago. Jes was working there as part of their MSW program and Kate was a supervisor. Both gained experience in a workforce development program supporting trans and gender non-conforming adults.

• Jes was Kate’s intern for a year, and while they initially thought they wanted to be a therapist when they got involved with social work, they ultimately decided they could provide the best mental health services through attacking macro-level issues; their switch from micro social work to macro social work happened about ten years ago.

• Jes and Kate had a difficult time picking the name for the business, but they settled on Praxis because a co-facilitator had recommended the term. Praxis essentially means putting theory into practice; it answers the all-important question: how do you live out your important life values through the work that you do?

• Kate is the Director of Training and Curriculum for Praxis, meaning she is responsible for any training programs that Praxis implements. As Director of Operations and Outreach, Jes has the initial conversations with clients about their needs. Learn more about the Praxis Group team here.

• Jes and Kate, on the website for Praxis, talk about cultural humility, which they offer workshops on. Click here to learn more about cultural humility.

• Jes grew up on the South side of Chicago, and after college, served in the Peace Corps in Africa for two years living in Togo with a host family. They were a girls education and empowerment extension agent, and talked with community members about why they weren’t sending their daughter to schools. They opened up the conversation about gender and equity issues in an incredibly remote village with no running water and a population of less than 1,000. After serving, Jes returned to Chicago and moved to Andersonville. They love going to Candyality (5225 N Clark) to raid the blue raspberry candy bins.

• Kate started her career in direct service with communities and is familiar with the sense of urgency and need when approaching clients. She moved to Chicago three years ago and initially lived in Logan Square, but later moved to Andersonville.

• Praxis Group starts any workshop by defining “cultural humility.” They focus on intentional listening. Learn about their workshops here.

• Kate talks about “communities of practice” and one of the long term goals of Praxis is developing a community of practice around creating inclusive and affirming work spaces. Another goal is to help develop training for young Trans and Queer people of color who will be the future trainers for the organization.

• If Jes could switch places with any business for a day, they would switch with George’s Ice Cream & Sweets (5306 N Clark) or Early to Bed (5044 N Clark) and Kate would switch with Lost Larson (5318 N Clark) because she always wanted to open a bakery.

“Cultural humility is the idea that when we are doing work around diversity or inclusion, it’s never complete, it’s always continuing. It’s realizing there is always more to learn and always more to do. ”

— Jes Scheinpflug

Why Sharing Gender Pronouns at Work Matters

by Alexis Croswell

Creating an inclusive work environment can be a complex task, but the important thing is to get started. One step organizations are taking to ensure communications are inclusive, is enabling conversations about people’s gender pronouns.

Personal gender pronouns are often referred to as ‘PGP’s; or more simply, just an individual’s gender pronouns. According to GLSEN, “There has been a shift away from the term ‘preferred gender pronoun’ or ‘PGP’ to using ‘pronoun.’ This change was made because a person’s pronouns are not just preferred; they're the pronouns that must be used.”

Gender pronouns are words that an individual would like others to use when talking to or about them. The most commonly used pronouns are “he, him, his” and “she, her, hers.” People who are transgender or gender nonconforming may choose to use pronouns that don't conform to binary male/female gender categorizations, such as "they, them, theirs." Steven Huang, Insights Strategist at Culture Amp says, “Starting the conversation at an organizational level about understanding and using people's correct gender pronouns helps ensure an inclusive culture where all voices are given equitable power.”

Why are gender pronouns important?

If a person has never had to worry about which pronoun others use for them, gender pronouns might not seem important. Huang says, “For most, their singular and visible gender identity is a privilege. Not everybody has this privilege; those that are referred to with the wrong pronoun can feel disrespected, invalidated, and alienated.” You can't always tell what someone's gender pronouns are by looking at them. Knowing and using someone's gender pronouns is a positive way to support the people you work with.

This table below provides examples of gender pronouns from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual Resource Center at UC Davis.

How do I ask someone what their gender pronoun is?

As part of an introduction or icebreaker at work, you can say “Tell us your name, your role, and if you’re comfortable, your personal gender pronoun.” You might hear gender-neutral pronouns like “they, them, theirs” - or some people prefer that you simply use their name. In a one-on-one conversation, the best way to ask is with a straightforward: “What are your gender pronouns?” or “Can you remind me of which pronouns you like for yourself?”

What happens if I use the wrong gender pronoun for someone?

If you realize it in the moment, correct yourself. Apologize and restate the correct pronoun, as in, “Sorry, I meant she.” If you realize your mistake after the fact, apologize in private and move on. In either case, don’t dwell on the mistake. As Huang says, “It is inappropriate to make the person feel awkward and responsible for comforting you.” It’s your job to remember and respect someone’s gender pronouns.

Communicating gender pronouns in company email signatures

Steven Huang
Strategist, Insights
Pronouns: he, him, his
LinkedIn

An easy way for companies to introduce gender pronouns into conversation is to add them to email signatures. This acts as a reminder internally, while also building awareness externally. Huang explains why he has added gender pronouns to his email signature, “Most people have not been questioned about their gender identity. This is such a simple way to show that I care about and respect the people who are in that minority who are questioned about their gender identity. It’s also an acknowledgement of my privilege.”

Taking inclusion one step at a time

Adding gender pronouns to your company email signatures is a great first step to building inclusivity at work. It brings awareness to something that many people might not have thought about before. The discussion around gender pronouns provides further education as to why it’s an important part of people’s identity that should be respected. Using gender pronouns in email signatures also serves as a consistent action and reminder on an internal and external level that this is important.

Article originally appeared in Culture Amp >

#HopefulGender cards first batch shipped!

Today we mailed out all 500 cards we had!

We also placed an order for two other versions:
1) A nonbinary sir/dude they/them option; it looks exactly like the first version but ma'am/lady have been replaced with sir/dude.
2) An option with sir/dude/ma'am/lady on the front and a fill in the blank pronoun option on the back.

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The requests and excitement about these was bigger than we expected. We are hopeful these will make a helpful shift for folks. As always, if you have more feedback or ideas, don't hesitate to reach out.

We will hopefully also be able to continue to cover the cost of postage, envelopes and printing with support of small donations.

Contact us you'd like to contribute. Thanks to the handful of people who've given $5! Check out more on our social media pages! We’re on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Linkedin.

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Here's what folks are saying:

• I want these cards to have a tangeable evidence that I’m not alone fighting for my pronouns. That I can have help sticking up for myself.

• I wear a lot of dresses and want to see if this helps with decreasing the amount of times I get misgendered, especially at work. I wear pins, have a note on my email signature, and try to correct people, but it’s hard and tiring.

• I am so tired of ma’am and lady. This happened to me recently at a restaurant, and it totally triggered me. It was a woman-owned place... it was really awful.

• Hey! I’d love to get more than 5 of these (thinking more like 20?) if possible. I’m misgendered all the time and it’s making it difficult for me to even leave my home lately.

• These will be great to give to the healthcare professionals I have to deal with who just can’t get my pronouns figured out.

• You can ask people to call you they, but I feel like most don't really hear you. Putting this is words for them to read and take in might make things more understandable.

• I would like these cards so I can better explain my gender identity without having to go through emotional distress and the anxiety of confronting the possibility of cisgender fragility regarding my pronouns.

• Hoping to just hand these out instead of having to pretend to be cis or feel pressure to have a gender 101 conversation with random people.

• I’m non-binary and I get so tired of reminding people to get my pronouns right. I would love to be able to give certain people this card as a reminder.

• I'm nonbinary and these could be an immense help when I'm too frazzled to explain gender to people.

• I'm nonbinary and whenever I'm at work, I get people calling me "m'am" or "you ladies" all the time and it is so discouraging. I'd love to be able to give this out or even put it in a name tag to hang to my backpack or uniform.

• I'm sick of having to justify my existence to everyone that I meet.

• Coming out every time I meet someone new is exhausting, so I often don't do it and don't correct people when they misgender me -- and then I end up feeling even worse emotionally.

• I would like to hand these cards out to my students of the trans experience and nonbinary students so they can give them to their classmates as well as teachers. I'm pushing them to learn how to be self-advocates. 

• I'm in medical school, get misgendered often, and I'm trying to educate my classmates on trans issues.

• I’m nonbinary and get tired of having the same conversation over and over again.

• I’m nonbinary and work at a drop-in center for LGBTQIA+ youth. These cards would be great for some of them as well as myself.

• I am very shy when it comes to correcting people on my pronouns, and I honestly think this will make it easier for me, alternatively just give an explanation for when I leave situations.

• I think it's really awesome what your company is doing and I am in full support. I would like these cards because I work in retail/customer service and it's gets really daunting being constantly misgendered. Even if I didn't give the cards out to every person who misgendered me (they'd go fast) but I think just having them would really help me feel more comfortable especially around new friends and co-workers. I love that I've found my identity as gender queer/enby but it gets really really hard sometimes literally just existing out in this binary world. And I know it's small but I think a few business cards would make me feel more confident walking around as the big gender queer enigma I am.

• This is amazing! As a nonbinary person, it’s exhausting to constantly correct people, especially when I have to do it so many time a day, or when I’m too anxious and tired of saying things and just give up on it. Love this! 

• It’s uncomfortable correcting people on your pronouns, especially in public. Also, I live in the South where it’s difficult to go anywhere without hearing “Sir” or “Ma’am”. These cards could help to at least start the conversation in these settings. 

• I'm non-binary and tired of explaining.

• I want these because I never have the words to correct people on my pronouns, and that's for many reasons. I don't want to 1) embarrass the other person 2) have to explain to people why They/Them works for as a singular noun 3) have to explain what non binary means 4) have to defend apart of my identity when I'm already a socially anxious person

• It's exhausting correcting ppl.

• Newly out enby ready to be visible!

• I usually felt either caught off guard or too embarassed to correct people in fear of conflict. This is a great idea that I can’t wait to try! 

• I run a Community Network for Professionals Serving LGBTQ+ Youth and want to share them at our next meeting.

• I am a trans/non binary adult who works in journalism and coffee, I interact with new people everyday and am very personable, however, correcting misgendering has become overwhelming. I believe these cards can be the solution to a ‘one and done’ deal.

• I am genderqueer, but I also have a chronic illness. Even if you matter to me, I don't have the energy to correct you ever. My energy is reserved for people who already respect me and love me.

• I’m ordering these cards for my eight-year-old child who recently came out as non-binary. Thank you for this service.

• I want these cards because I almost never know how to correct people when they say "she" or "ma'am" to me. I am not a girl. I am Non-Binary. I have bad social anxiety so these might help to encourage me to speak up about myself.

• I’d love to have these cards to help my family understand who I am, and to also help my teachers understand more.

• I am excited to use this as a way to self-advocate with a bit more ease.

• I am so frustrated with being constantly misgendered as female (I'm AFAB non-binary). These seems like an excellent way to quietly explain myself.

Praxis Group helps business professionals go beyond inclusion

by Liz Baudler, Windy City Times

An emerging Chicago consulting firm composed primarily of activists within the LGBTQ community has the goal of getting workplaces to think "beyond inclusion." It's a phrase that those who have encountered Praxis Group have wondered about, and the founders are very open to explaining the unique work they do.

"Our goal is to provide employers and organizations with the tools to move beyond the checkboxes of "diversity and inclusion" and into ongoing institutional practices that support justice and allyship," said Director of Training and Curriculum Kate Harrington-Rosen.

"For us, 'beyond inclusion' means a lot of things," said Director of Operations and Outreach Jes Scheinpflug. "I think that these buzzwords of 'diversity' and 'inclusion' are used so often that they sort of stopped having meaning. Those are values and goals, but what's underneath all that? We're doing innovative work around creating spaces that bring authentic people to the table."

Praxis Group's focus is on the LGBQTIA community, with a particular emphasis on trans and gender-nonconforming individuals, said Scheinpflug, who has found that workshops focused on trans identity are among the most needed in workplaces and businesses. An important question for Scheinpflug in anti-oppression frameworks is the idea of "who's not in the room."

"A lot of groups are guilty of being, like, 'Oh, look at how diverse it was'— racially and gender-wise and sometimes socioeconomic status-wise," Scheinpflug said. "But very rarely do I find people who are asking, 'Who wasn't there?'"

Another guiding principle for Praxis is the idea of cultural humility instead of cultural competency. "As a nonbinary queer person, I'm learning things every day," Scheinpflug explained. "I make mistakes in the language I use sometimes, and cultural humility is recognizing that and committing to constantly being open to learning more and doing better. Whereas cultural competency is, checking that box, done. The work is never done."

"I know that I've felt unsafe or unwelcome with providers or in businesses who think they are "competent" but don't do the vulnerable work of approaching me from a place of seeking to learn or understand me more deeply," said Harrington-Rosen, a queer woman who describes herself as "straight-passing", and who says servers and medical workers often assume the gender of her nonbinary partner.

"What humility would look like in those moments is people taking the time to recognize and acknowledge that they've made an assumption ( or 5 or 10 ) about me, and instead of acting on that assumption, to either wait until they learn more about me in the course of the interaction, or to ask me respectfully about how I identify," Harrington-Rosen said over email.

The members of Praxis have done work along these lines for more than 25 combined years. Scheinpflug, who has a social work background, and Harrington-Rosen were colleagues in the same non-profit and always had a strong working relationship. Praxis also includes K. Rodriguez and JT Turner, who come with their own skillsets.

"In starting to think about what it would look like to try to build a business that was actually rooted in ( social ) justice, we knew we needed to have leadership, input, and representation from folks with different identities and backgrounds from ours, in particular folks who aren't white," Harrington-Rosen said. "We are also both lucky enough to have worked and played alongside such an incredible number of brilliant queers that I think as soon as we started to conceptualize working together more formally, we were already thinking about and excited about bringing other folks in."

Praxis had run workshops prior to their official launch, and most previous business came through word of mouth. "People have reached out being, like, 'We have the knowledge, we understand the theory, we get the vocab, but we're struggling to implement it. What do we do?,' Scheinpflug said. "In going public and being an official business, our audience hasn't really changed, it's been whoever's dedicated to doing this work. Our ideal people are folks who recognize that it's an ongoing process. People want to see results right away, and cultural humility doesn't work that way, it's not like, 'Here's our start date and here's our end date and we're done.' We're really looking to work with people who recognize that and who will commit to the long haul."

"I think a fair number of folks are aware that there is a lack of cultural humility, or justice, or allyship, on their team, but not really sure what that means or how to name it," said Harrington-Rosen. "So folks will call and say, 'I'm not really sure what we need, but here's the problem,' and the problem is: our manager called a trans person by their dead name at a staff meeting, and everybody froze. Or, I heard my colleague say something racist and I didn't know what to do about it. Or, our clients have told us that our space doesn't feel welcoming to them, but we don't understand why.' And those are exactly the calls that we want to be getting, because what we hear in those moments are people being willing to be vulnerable and ask for help about something they don't know how to handle, and that vulnerability is key to being able to build the awareness and skill needed to address the issue."

Workshops are done with co-facilitators of differing identities who set group agreements upfront and can cover a variety of content. Even with request for more targeted guidance, the group likes to go over what Scheinpflug called "the 101 stuff" to make sure everyone's on the same page.

"I think people and institutions really enjoy working with us because we have a balance of information-sharing, collaboration, and accountability," Scheinpflug said. "In all of our trainings, we model how people can call out misgendering, or call out comments that are offensive, and how to bring that person into that moment, acknowledge what happened, and move past it. We have those teachable moments and we do the uncomfortable and difficult work in front of people, and they're like, oh, it can be done, it's not this elusive thing that I just read about on Facebook. "

In the spirit of being both teachers and learners, facilitators also find it helpful to share personal experiences. "When you have these personal stories and these human beings in front of you, that's different from reading about it or learning about it in higher education," Scheinpflug said. "I talk a lot about how I get called ma'am and, as a person who navigates the world with a lot of confidence and [who] knows how to advocate for myself, [there are] times where I end up in positions where I am extremely uncomfortable, sometimes unsafe, not feeling valued. It's things that are so simple, like this idea of microaggressions. Something that seems so insignificant can really shift an entire culture."

Praxis' workshops operate on sliding-scale fees, and a portion of all profits go toward people of color/trans life organizations. "Any social-justice work that doesn't explicitly recognize how oppressive capitalism is is missing the mark in a big way," said Harrington-Rosen. "We are seeking to find the balance of being paid fairly for our labor ( the labor of educating people about how to engage with us respectfully, which so often goes unpaid and unvalued ) with making our services accessible for groups who want to commit to this work. We know that small nonprofits or locally owned businesses may not have the same budget as, say, a corporate client, but it's no less crucial for them to engage in this work."

"Often, the places that don't have the budget for it are the places that need it the most," Scheinpflug added. Praxis hopes to make trainings and consultation more accessible by having larger clients sponsor services and partner with a nonprofit or small business of their choosing. More future plans for the Group include fellowships for young trans and gnc people of color to become facilitators, and collaborations with groups that share values.

The cost of ignoring or marginalizing issues of identity can be sobering. "When we talk about almost half of trans folks attempt suicide, versus one to six percent of cis folks, we look at other stats like homelessness and unemployment and lack of access or no access to healthcare and medical resources," Scheinpflug said. "People can get that, but that suicide statistic, [it's] the culmination of it."

But for a business or organization, furthering one's understanding and commitment to being "beyond inclusive" can pay dividends. "When people have these skills and create these inclusive and beyond inclusive places that are actually celebrating folks, productivity goes up for everybody, they make more money, employees stay longer, they get promoted, win win win," said Scheinpflug. "It's the right thing to do, and it's going to help you. "

Scheinpflug will co-facilitate an interactive master class from the Andersonville Chamber of Commerce, "Inclusive Hiring and Building Safe Spaces," on Thursday, June 21, 9-10 a.m, at 5153 N. Clark St. The event is free, but pre-registration is required. More information—and the ability to donate to further the Group's future goals—is at PraxisChi.com.

Original article appeared in Windy City Times >

Trans-affirming tips from a nonbinary social worker

I’m greeted with, “Good afternoon, ma’am. How can I help you?” as I walk into the office. “I’m here to see Judy,” I tell the receptionist as I question to myself exactly what about my appearance made her gender me with ma’am. “I have 3 o’clock appointment,” I continue, wondering if I should tell her I am not a ma’am and that my pronouns are they and them. I decide against it because I don’t want to give her a reason to not help me, even though her nametag says “Judy — she/her/hers.” I want to assume she’s trans-affirming, but I have been burned too many times by people who share their own pronouns, but don’t do anything when they hear someone misgender or mispronoun me.

“Fill out this paperwork,” Judy requests kindly. “Let me know if you have any questions.”

Everyone dreads the paperwork, both the clients who have to fill it out and the employees who have to enter it into the system. As a social worker, I’ve had clients wonder aloud, “Do I still use my mom as my emergency contact or should I start using my partner?” For some of us, we don’t even have the option to fill out the form with the truth.

From the honorific (Ms., Mrs., Mr., Dr.) to the inevitable sex/gender boxes, more often than not there is no choice or no space for me to answer the question honestly/accurately. I try to make excuses in my head (“Well, I bet their intake computer system doesn’t allow for write-ins” or “They probably have to ask this because funders require this specific wording.”). I’ve been on both sides of the coin. (By the way, Mx., pronounced “Mix,” is the gender-neutral honorific that I use.)

To improve the health care experience for nonbinary people, here are four things I have done as a trans-affirming member of the social work field and things I do/would appreciate as a nonbinary person:

Disclose issues as early as possible. This has always made me feel safer to enter a space rather than assuming I need to have my guard up. For example, when setting an appointment at a medical provider’s office, state: “We regret that our bathrooms are binary and gendered options because we rent and share this space. We apologize for the inconvenience and please let our staff know if you have any negative experiences in our space." You can also include information like this on your website and social media, or via an email confirmation.

Acknowledge that policies and accessibility issues are problematic. Sometimes we, as employees and service providers, don’t have the power to change paperwork, bathroom signs or computer systems, but we can verbally mention to clients that we are aware of the problem and that we are there to process any challenges they may have as a result. Sometimes we can also add descriptions on the paperwork that acknowledge the issue. For example: “Funders require you to choose between only two answers and we must mark one of the two in our computer system. We apologize for this inconvenience and are working to address the issue.” Be sure that you’re only using this language if you’re actually working to address the issue.

Host a trans 101 or trans-affirming training for your office. Ensure that all employees are on the same page. Service providers often offer opportunities for ongoing training for clinicians, case managers, etc., but don't include maintenance, receptionists and other staff who interact with clients. I facilitate trans-affirming trainings with Praxis Group, a Chicago-based consulting group that provides cultural humility trainings for teams and organizations. It has been humbling and very powerful to join teams and share best practices, legal protections and statistics — and then to witness them commit to the concrete changes they’ll make moving forward.

Talk to leadership to change policies, paperwork, bathroom signs, computer systems, etc. that are not trans-affirming. Consider bringing in a professional, like Praxis Group, to help your workplace identify areas that they can improve to become more trans-affirming.

Some folks think of "trans-affirming" as an ominous and confusing concept, when in reality, it's quite simple. Many of us operate this way 24/7 without even thinking about it! A great first step if you’re interested in this work is to join the Andersonville Chamber of Commerce for Inclusive Hiring and Building Safe Spaces on Thursday, June 21. (Full transparency: I’m on the panel.)

Next steps? Ask yourself what you can do to be more trans-affirming. Talk to your employer about what your office can do to be more trans-affirming. Add your pronouns to your e-mail signature. Reach out to Praxis Group for a workshop or consultation. This list is infinite, as are genders.

Jes Scheinpflug, LSW, is a queer & nonbinary community organizer raised and based in Chicago. They received their BSW from Illinois State University in 2010 and their MSW from Loyola University Chicago in 2017. They are a cofounder of Praxis Group. Their work focuses on anti-oppression education, cultivating trans-affirming communities and lifting up voices of people who are marginalized. 

Article originally appeared on the AIDS Foundation of Chicago blog.